Why He Wasn’t Ready To Make Things Official With You But Made Her His Girlfriend Immediately

You’ve been seeing a guy for a while, but every time you bring up the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation, he shuts it down. You finally decide to pack your bags and stop wasting any more of your time. Next thing you know, he’s in a labeled relationship with someone else—wait, what?! Here are some possible explanations for what happened.

  1. He was already talking to someone else and planning to settle down with her before he met you. You’re nice and all. You might even be great, and he could really see himself being with you. However, he wasn’t ready to throw in the towel on all the work he already put into building with someone else. Timing is everything. You may just have shown up when the planets weren’t aligned in your title-having favor and now you’re left in the dust. There wasn’t anything you could’ve done differently.
  2. He wanted to make you jealous. He knew he was dragging his feet, but the thought of commitment was scary, and let’s face it, he’s also lazy. He kept telling himself he’d get to it “one day,” but that day wasn’t soon enough. When you walked away, he realized his mistake in procrastinating too long and liked what he had going with you. He may even feel a little bit salty about you finally making that decision. How dare you hold him accountable! Since you left, he had to find someone else. His bed felt lonely at night.
  3. He never wanted to date you. A harsh truth, I know. He liked his relationship with you, but he didn’t want a relationship with you. He also didn’t want to tell you you’re friend-zoned either and lose what you all had. Once you were gone, he was a fully solo man and free to find what he was really looking for.
  4. He learned from his mistakes. Every time you brought up making it official, he said whatever he could just to change the subject. He never thought you’d actually leave. When you finally did, it was a real slap in the face. It kinda stung and he didn’t like how it felt, TBH. He realized if he wanted to keep a girl around, he was going to have to get past his reservations about commitment. But he had too much pride to try to make it right with you. When another promising option came along, he knew he’d have to get her off the market fast to avoid getting hurt again.
  5. He thought you two were together. It’s no secret that men aren’t always the sharpest tools in the shed compared to their female counterparts. When you mentioned taking your relationship to the next level, he brushed it off because he thought that was what you all were already doing. He didn’t know how serious the whole topic really was to you, and when you walked away you left him genuinely confused. It was a lesson learned and you taught him how to be better for the next chick who came his way.
  6. The person he wanted wasn’t available when he found you. We all have that special someone from our past we consider to be “the one that got away.” Maybe he really isn’t the official dating type but he’s always had his heart set on that one woman. Unfortunately, their paths of availability never seemed to cross at the same time. When you walked away from him, he may have dug her back up and realized she was finally single. He wasn’t going to let her get away this time! He had been keeping himself occupied with the casual flings, but now that he’s got her back, there’s no returning to how things were. That’s probably the one he’ll end up marrying.
  7. He wanted to get back at you. This isn’t the same as the one who wanted to make you jealous because he wanted to be with you. This guy has a darker agenda. He’s looking for revenge. He’s mad that you moved on and wants to make you question yourself by giving another chick a title. This type of man doesn’t take any woman seriously. She means nothing to him either and it’s all about mind control. You’re way better off without this kinda dude. Let him continue to play his games and don’t allow it to affect you.
  8. He had to with her. You didn’t really do anything wrong, but you should’ve put your foot down sooner. Because you were continuing the relationship without him addressing your request, he stopped taking you seriously. You were giving him what he wanted anyway, so why complicate things for himself by adding a label? The next girl stuck to her guns right off the bat and he knew he had to concede to even get a chance with her.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer