If You’re Not Ready For A Relationship, Don’t Invite Me Into Your Life

He said I was special and that he could see a real future with me and like a naïve little girl, I believed. Obviously he didn’t mean what he said and when we ended, I was devastated. Thankfully, I’ve learned a lot since then and these days, if a guy’s not truly ready to welcome me into his life, I’d rather he not invite me in the first place.

  1. Losing a guy who’s not ready for me is no big loss. Guys who play games with women, pretending they want a relationship when they really just want to get laid or to have a temporary distraction, are losers. I’m not desperate and I refuse to settle, so I won’t be sad when I walk away from dudes like this.
  2. I’d rather see solid actions than hear pretty words. Guys love to tell us how much they want to be with us and how they’ll never make us cry because they care so much. Well, before you start listening to those words, it’s better to pay attention to his actions. If he says all the right things but his behavior is shady AF, don’t waste your time.
  3. I don’t want to share and that’s not a bad thing. If a guy wants to date me, he should be clear about whether it’s exclusive or not. I’m a generous person but when it comes to a guy, sharing is not an option. He’s either all in or he can GTFO because I’m a strong woman who needs an equally strong man who’s capable of deciding whether or not he wants to be in a relationship.
  4. It took me years to build self-worth and I’m not letting any guy wreck it. We’ve all been there, I know. We’ve all let our guards down for the wrong guy once or twice. However, I’ve learned from my mistakes and I won’t make them again. If he wants to be with me, he needs to make me feel it. I’m not going to risk my precious self-worth for an obviously unworthy man.
  5. I want long-term fascination, not a fling. I make it a point that every person in my life knows I don’t do flings anymore. If a guy keeps on hitting up on me in the hopes of a quick hookup, he’s seriously out of luck. I want romance and love and fascination. I want someone who takes my preferences seriously so when I say no cheap flirting, I mean no cheap flirting, especially if that’s the only plan he’s got.
  6. It’s not really my problem if he can’t handle my attitude. Yeah, yeah, I have attitude problems, but don’t we all? I don’t need a guy who will pretend to love everything about me at first and later complain about how frank I am before dropping me like a bad habit. I may have a crappy attitude but I sure as well don’t tolerate this kind of trash.
  7. It’s either truly love me or leave me the hell alone. I don’t think this is too hard to understand. I don’t want to let my guard down to let a guy in, only for him to decide he’s not really feeling it and leave me in the dust. I’d rather he takes the time to figure out what he wants before we get to that point than for him to lead me on.
  8. I deserve someone who will remind me that I matter If a man thinks this is asking too much then obviously, he doesn’t deserve me. I’m well aware that I am far from perfection but I’m also well aware that I deserve someone who knows that I matter. I deserve someone who truly wants me every day, not just when they need something else.
  9. I’m not interested in drama so he shouldn’t even try. I already have a lot of drama in my life and I don’t need more of it. If he tries to play games and give me that “I think I kinda like you” junk without following through, I swear I’ll shut the doors. If a man wants to be with me, the least he can do is make sure he knows he wants me and act accordingly.
  10. I want forever. Is that too much to ask? Is this such a bad thing to ask? I don’t think so. I’m at the stage of my life where I’ve had enough with uncertainty and indecisiveness. I want someone who will hold my hand today, tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives no matter what comes our way. If a guy isn’t interested in that, he shouldn’t even bother.
Part-poet, part-writer, and full-blooded human megaphone of the oppressed, Tammy focuses on covering heavy topics. To keep herself sane, she also writes about pop culture, life, and anything gay. She gets by with the smell of typewriter and sound of tattoo machines.