I’m Not Really The “Second Chance” Type, So Don’t Screw This Up

I don’t let people into my life easily, so when they screw up, it’s over. I don’t give second chances for major mistakes, like big lies or cheating. Why should I? For me, you either get it right the first time around or you can go find someone else who’s a little more patient with your BS.

  1. You’ll just want even more chances. So you’re magically going to get it right this time? I doubt it. You’ll just ask for a third chance when you probably do the same stupid thing again. Sorry, but the trust is gone and I’m not just going to keep giving you do-overs. I don’t have the time for that.
  2. If you’re unsure now, why should I stick around? You want a second chance just because you didn’t realize how much you cared about me until it was too late? I don’t think so. How do I know you won’t change your mind, do something stupid like cheat (again) and expect me to forgive and forget? It shouldn’t take screwing me over to realize you value me. What kind of twisted logic is that?
  3. You obviously don’t respect me. The one thing I demand from every relationship is respect. Being a jackass and showing me that you obviously don’t care about me isn’t the way to my heart. I’m not giving second chances to anyone who doesn’t show me respect. It’s not hard and I made it obvious that this was a dealbreaker for me. Don’t act surprised when I say goodbye.
  4. It’s not my job to fix your issues. You have issues and they make you do stupid things to screw up your relationships. Sorry, but that’s not my problem. I’ve got my own issues to deal with — I don’t have the time or energy to fix yours. I’m happy to be supportive, but I’m not your mother or your shrink. Here’s a piece of advice — get your act together before dating someone.
  5. Do I look like a pushover? You should know me well enough by now to know I’m not a pushover. I’d have to be an idiot to give second chances. I might as well stick a sign on my forehead saying “open season — take advantage of my overly forgiving nature.” No. It’s just open season on “get the hell out of my life.”
  6. I’ve been there, done that and regretted it. I tried the whole second chance thing once. After being screwed over even worse the second time, I vowed to never make that mistake again. Frankly, I thought the lies were bad enough, but then I heard how “respectfully” you talked about me to everyone else, which caused me to lose friends. I didn’t deserve that, especially after giving you another try.
  7. I think getting hurt once is enough. If pain gets you off, good for you, but I’m just not into that, emotional or physical. You’ve already hurt me bad enough once to make me want to push you out of my life. Why the hell would I want to risk getting hurt a second time? Go find someone else who likes being treated like an emotional punching bag.
  8. What else are you going to screw up? I could give second chances, but I feel like it’s the same as getting up every day and spinning the “What Will They Screw Up Today” wheel. It might land on “nothing,” but eventually it’s going to land on another mistake. I don’t need that kind of anxiety in my life. I can’t trust you anymore and I’m not going to try to change the way I feel.
  9. Your second chance could make me miss out. Why should I waste my time with your sorry ass when there’s someone better out there? Your second chance could be what keeps me from meeting my significant other or new bestie. Why waste my life hoping you do better this time when I know there are people out there who would never hurt me?
  10. I have too much respect for myself. Small mistakes deserve second chances. After all, I’m not perfect either but I have way too much respect for myself to let someone treat me like I don’t matter. If you can’t realize how your choices might really hurt me, then you don’t respect me. I gave you a chance, but I’m not losing my self-respect over you.
  11. I don’t need you. It might hurt to hear, but I honestly don’t need you. I’ve worked hard to build a life that I’m proud of. Consider it an honor that I gave you a chance to be part of that life. It’s too bad you screwed up the best thing that ever happened to you. You definitely weren’t the best thing to happen to me and odds are, I probably won’t think about you again after you’ve gone. So, quit begging for that second chance. It’s never going to happen.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.