You’re Not Searching For Your Other Half — You’re Already Whole

Thinking that you can only be happy when you finally find love is pretty ridiculous. First of all, you don’t want to be that desperate, and second, it might take a while before you kiss your single status good riddance. Don’t say you’re searching for your other half because that’s just not true — here’s why you’re already whole:

  1. You already have an amazing life. You might know that you eventually want to share your life with someone, and that’s totally fine, but that doesn’t mean you don’t already have an amazing one on your own. You’ve got a career, a routine, friendships and family, hobbies and interests and the whole thing. A partner is the cherry on top, but you’re the whole sundae.
  2. You have your act together. It’s not like you’re going to magically become a grown-up the second you officially have a boyfriend again. You should already act that way. If you know what you’re doing and can deal with anything under the sun, then you have your act together, and that’s a good thing.
  3. You can’t rely on anyone else. There’s a fine line between love and desperation, and you never want to go too far in the latter direction. You can only rely on yourself in this life. Make the choices that feel right for you and don’t wait for a boyfriend to fix everything. You need to be the problem solver for your own world.
  4. You’ve made this mistake before. Like everyone else, you’ve expected a guy to make everything okay, and like everyone else, you realized that was a horrible idea. Thinking that someone else can heal you when you can’t heal yourself is a recipe for a breakup. Don’t repeat history and remember that you have what you need to get through anything, guy or no guy.
  5. You shouldn’t waste your time. If you decide that things will get better once you find love, you’re pretty much guaranteeing that your life from now until then is going to suck. There’s no timeline for love and you have no idea when you’ll meet the right person. Forget all that and enjoy your life so when you meet a cool guy, it’s like getting a promotion when you already love your job.
  6. You want to be attractive. Guys can smell insecurity from a mile away and they will never, ever find it hot if they sense that you’re desperate and need constant reassurance. If you want to be attractive to guys (and you probably do) then keep it together and act like you love your life and have all the self-confidence in the world. Because you do, right?
  7. You have better things to do. How do you want to spend your time — whining that you don’t have a boyfriend right now or being productive? Yeah, exactly. Remember your goals and remember to get stuff done. You will find being solo so much better if you’re busy and loving it.
  8. You’ve seen the misery. You 100% have at least one friend who absolutely needs to have a boyfriend. She can’t go anywhere without him and talks about him all the time… and the worst part is that she never seems happy. Don’t be like that.
  9. You want something real. Since you want an actual relationship and none of this almost crap that seems like an epidemic these days, then you want to forget this whole other half business. You can absolutely find love even with the attitude that you already know who you are and know what you need out of life. You want love to be a fun addition to your already awesome life, not your entire reason for living.
  10. You’re going to pressure yourself. The worst thing you can do in the search for love is pressure yourself… and pressure the guys that you meet. That’s only going to send them running and screaming in the opposite direction. Leave the pressure behind and focus on having as fun as you possibly can while you try to meet someone you actually like. That’s really all you can do.
  11. You want it to happen naturally. When you do fall in love, you might think this guy is everything you’ve ever wanted, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when you find the right person, it’s going to happen naturally and the way that it’s supposed to be. You won’t have to force it or think too much about it. Forget about waiting for your other half and search for someone you like spending time with. The rest will fall into place.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.