If You’re Not Sure If You Should See Him Again, Ask Yourself These Questions

There are magical first dates that are everything you’ve been waiting for. There are crappy first dates that make you want to hide under the covers forever. And then there are the in-between dates: okay enough, but nothing too amazing. So how do you figure out if you want to go on a second date when this situation happens? Ask yourself these questions to help yourself figure out if this guy is worth seeing again:

  1. Would you regret not going out with him again? You can’t always control what you regret and what you don’t, but you can sometimes. If you ask yourself this question and find that you could pretty much take or leave this guy, then you probably aren’t excited enough about him for that second date to happen.
  2. Are you attracted to him? This is a super important question that should be high up on your list. If your answer is no, then you really have zero business even considering a second date. Looks may not be everything, but they’re pretty crucial at this stage. Without physical attraction, all you’ve got a friendship.
  3. Is he a decent guy? You’ve dated enough losers and jerks, and you don’t need another one in your life. It might be hard to tell if someone is truly nice or a so-called “nice guy” who’s going to turn around and change before your very eyes. Do your best to gauge if he’s a quality human being.
  4. Is he interesting? This is pretty subjective, which is what makes the same person one girl’s dream boyfriend and another girl’s worst nightmare. But if you were super bored on the first date and could barely find a trace of this guy’s personality, you have no reason to see him again.
  5. Was he a robot? Some guys just can’t deal with first dates. They get crazy nervous and basically act like robots the entire time, asking you the same old questions and telling you what they think you want to hear. It’s up to you if you want to give a machine man a second chance and see if he acts more like a human being the next time around. But if you’re tired of meeting guys like this, then you might want to cut your losses.
  6. How do you feel? This one can be a bit tricky since first dates have probably started to feel pretty routine at this point. You’ve gone on so many and been disappointed so many times, you don’t want to get your hopes up yet again. But think about how you feel once you go your separate ways. If you’ve already forgotten all about this guy and can’t wait to go home and sink into the couch, then he’s not the one for you. But if you’re still wondering about him, chances are that means you want a second date.
  7. Are you dying to text your BFF? If you go on a good date (or a good enough one), you can’t text your best friend fast enough. You want to give her the dirt and get her reaction about whether this is going somewhere. If you don’t feel this urge, then you’re probably better off not seeing this guy again.
  8. Did he ask legit questions? There’s a fine line between a guy asking the traditional first date questions and a guy being genuinely interested in your life. If it felt like he really wanted to get to know you, then that’s a really good sign.
  9. Did you have any fun at all? Sometimes you’re so used to having zero fun on dates that it can be hard to tell when you are enjoying yourself. It’s like you’re super numb. If you had even a bit of fun, that’s a good indication that you should see him again.
  10. What do you have to lose? If you’re really on the fence about this guy, there could be a number of different factors at play. You could understandably worried about getting hurt again no matter how much you like him. You could be tired from your work week and confusing yourself by overthinking things. You could just be really unsure. If this is the case, then ask yourself what you really have to lose. Sometimes you have to take a risk and say yes to seeing this guy again. Who knows? He just might be your next boyfriend.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories on her food blog, ahealthystory.com. She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture.