I’m not one of those girls who believes in fairy tale romance. I know there’s no Prince Charming coming to sweep me off my feet and I’m not waiting to ride off into the sunset for my happily ever after. This is real life, and real relationships take work. I’m fine with putting in the effort, but only if in the end it’s the real deal.
No one’s perfect and I wouldn’t want him to be.
We’re human and all humans are flawed. I know I’m not going to be the best partner at every single second and I don’t expect that from someone else either. However, there’s a level of connection and compatibility that’s necessary for a relationship to work. I will accept my guy exactly as he is if he can do the same. I’ll push him to be the best version of himself, not because I want to change him but because I want to help him become the person he’s always wanted to be.
Opposites don’t always attract.
It’s good to be unique, but sometimes being on completely different pages can hurt and not help a relationship. I don’t want us to have all the same hobbies, but it’s important that we share the values that will serve as the cornerstone of our lives together. I want us to have the big conversations early — the ones about religion, kids, where to live, etc. It’ll only save us down the line from putting all of ourselves into something doomed for failure.
Compromise is key.
It’s so cliche but it’s so true. I have no problem admitting that I’m not always right, and I need my guy to be able to admit when he’s wrong too. Love isn’t a competition and there’s no keeping score. Sometimes I’m going to have to swallow my pride or my opinion and meet him halfway. I need to know that he’ll do the same. If we’re able to truly try to see things from each other’s perspective, we’re going to be lightyears ahead of couples who see everything in black and white.
I want to be challenged.
I don’t want a partner who’s going to nod enthusiastically to everything I say and do. I want to be questioned, pushed and made to think things through critically and carefully. I want to know that at the end of the day, my guys think so highly of me that he sees me reaching levels of success I never imagined. I want him to be so sure of my abilities that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to show me what I’m capable of.
Trust is everything.
Honesty and the ability to be your true self with someone are perhaps the two most important things to me. If I don’t know with every fiber of my being that we can trust each other, I’m never going to be willing or able to give this my all.
Disagreements are healthy.
I have no interest in someone who agrees with everything I say. I want my guy to have his own opinions, to feel comfortable sharing them with me and to stand up for what he believes in. It’s okay for us to fight, as long as it’s well-intentioned and not malicious. He can be frustrated and fed up with something I said or did, but as long we can make up and compromise before bed, we’ll be okay.
Guilt tripping is a hard line.
Small arguments are normal but screaming, yelling or manipulative behavior is not. I never want to lose who I am because he’s turned me into someone that I’m not. Emotional abuse destroys people, and I never want that to happen to us. If he feels the need to make me feel horrible about who I am, something I’ve done, or something I believe in, we’ll never succeed as a couple.
My sensitivity is a part of me.
I own the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. My emotionality is one of my strengths, and I don’t want it to feel like a weakness. When I feel something, good or bad, I feel it intensely. I’m not passive aggressive, so if I’m upset, my guy will know. It’ll let us work through the issue instead of sweeping it under the rug and prevent it from building up into something more down the line.
Apologies go a long way if they’re sincere.
I promise to never say sorry if I don’t mean it, and I hope he’ll do the same. I will never intentionally undermine my partner, upset him, or hurt him — and if I do, I want to apologize and make sure I’m forgiven.
I promise to give it my all.
At the end of the day, I believe in him, I believe in us, and I believe in love. However, love isn’t enough when you don’t put in the work. I’m committed to doing everything I can to learn, grow, and succeed with him. As long as we’re in this together, nothing in the world can stop us. It won’t be easy, but it will certainly be worth it.
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