So Now There’s Makeup For Your Vagina? WTF?

There’s so much you can do to your vagina these days, like glitter-bombing it (don’t do that!), vajazzling it, and even buying makeup for itmakeupbuying makeup for it. WTF? Some makeup brands are promising that you can make your vaginal area much more attractive with things like highlighters. Here’s what you need to know about this scary and gross trend:

  1. Tint and highlight, anyone? The “Perfect V” is a Scandinavian beauty brand that’s all about prettifying your vagina. They have a whole range of products for your vagina, which come in tubes that look like they’re meant for your face. One of the products is the Very V Luminizer. This is a tinted highlighter that you can use for highlighting your vagina. Yes, you heard me. WTF, are you supposed to treat your vagina like your cheekbones or something?
  2. You’re not radiant enough down there, apparently. Apparently “vagina highlighters” should be dabbed onto your bikini line to hide discoloration and even out your skin tone. Right, because there’s so much discoloration going on down there—not. It seems like cosmetics companies are jumping on the “vagina beauty” bandwagon, bringing us yet another part of our bodies to make us stress about. Ugh.
  3. It’s confusing af. When Perfect V came out, people thought the highlighter was meant to be put on their vaginas – it’s not! No product should ever be put there! The “Our story” section of the Perfect V website clears up the confusion: “The V is that pretty little triangle sometimes neat, at other times unruly, but always perfect and unique in its own personal way. In fact, just like an iconic haircut, how you style your ‘V’ can be a clue to a particular moment in fashion.” If your bikini line is so “perfect and unique,” why the hell does it need makeup?
  4. It’s not all good. If products such as Perfect V aren’t going on to your vagina but being applied to the bikini line, that makes them seem sound safe. But are they really necessary? Why does this area need to be so polished and styled? It’s bad enough that it has to be waxed or shaved, for God’s sake. Skin in this area is also sensitive so you don’t want to mess with it.
  5. Don’t waste your time and money. Everyone wants to look good in a bikini, but do you really need to pay so much attention to making your bikini area look glam and polished? That area is called private for a reason—it’s not always on show! Can’t you just leave it be instead of using a bunch of products on it that are often filled with chemicals and can seep into your bloodstream?
  6. Your vagina’s perfect as it is. You should say no to all products that promise to make your private area more beautiful. Why? If you’re so worried about how skin in this private area looks, it’s easy to fall into the trap of spending lots of money on products on it, thinking you somehow have to “beautify” this area. But you don’t—your vagina and bikini area are fine just the way they are. Leave them alone!
  7. These products can be dangerous. If you’re using exfoliators and highlighters on your bikini line, what’s stopping you from using other products like pubic oils? These seem safe but aren’t. They can irritate your vagina and they’re not safe for use with condoms. Don’t let stupid products get in the way of your health.
  8. You don’t need moisturizer! Another skincare product that’s become popular for vaginas is moisturizer. An example is V Magic Feminine lipstick. It looks like regular lip balm, but for your labia. That’s just creepy! Besides, if your labia are dry and sore, you shouldn’t be using products on it. You should be visiting the doctor as it could be a sign of infection. It’s ridiculous to think that the skin in your labia needs to be moisturized like the skin on your face and the rest of your body. In case you haven’t noticed, skin in the vulva and labia region are very different and your vagina self-lubricates. Why would you need a product that hydrates it?
  9. Natural isn’t always safe. Although a lot of the products marketed as makeup for your vagina use natural ingredients, that doesn’t make them safe for use. Even organic and natural products can cause irritation because they mess with your vagina’s natural PH balance. This means that they’ll cause your vagina to eliminate healthy bacteria, which can cause infections.
  10. Things can get into your vagina. You might not be putting the makeup directly into your vagina, but who’s to say that they can’t end up there by getting onto your underwear or being transferred from the labia when you sweat? This can cause irritation and possibly even painful urinary tract infections (UTIs) from scented products. It’s not worth it!
  11. Don’t buy into the aging hype. We’ve all fallen for the skincare and beauty products that promise to make us radiant and youthful, but enough is enough! If we’re taking things down south to the vagina, we’re just creating a problem we don’t need. This is especially the case with products that try to make the vagina look more youthful, like My New Pink Button that’s marketed as a “genital colorant” and comes in four shades to keep the vagina looking bright and young. WTF? That’s just nasty! Let’s embrace aging instead of doing harmful things to our bodies.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.