I’ve given dating my best shot for several years but I have to admit that I’m really fed up with it at this point. It’s the most messed up thing I’ve ever encountered. It’s not that I haven’t tried or that I’m too picky in my search, it’s just that the guys I meet don’t take anything seriously and they all basically suck. I don’t want to throw in the towel completely, but I’m at my wit’s end — here’s why:
- Apparently, being ghosted is fine because people don’t owe me anything. WTF? So many people justify ghosting on a person with the notion that they “don’t owe anybody anything,” which is technically true — but what ever happened to basic human decency? If someone thinks it’s okay to duck out of someone’s life wordlessly in order to avoid uncomfortable conversations, they’re seriously warped and need to grow the hell up. I’m so over the entitlement among people.
- A lot of guys can’t talk to me with any level of respect. So many guys are completely incapable of having a conversation with me without making some sort of sexual references or blatantly talking about their penises. I’m a grown up and I like having intellectual conversations like an adult. There’s a time and place for flirty bedroom talk and it certainly isn’t when I’m trying to get to know a guy.
- There always seems to be someone else in the picture. Most of the time when I’m dating someone, I’m wondering and worrying about how many other girls he has blowing up his text feed, especially if I’ve met him online. It feels like no one believes in the ‘one at a time’ approach anymore and everyone thinks they’re some sort of reality TV star navigating contestants’ row. I’m so sick of investing my time into people who have a slew of other distractions. I’m a one woman show — I didn’t sign up to compete.
- Tinder is the biggest joke of all. Tinder has become the biggest disaster of all the dating apps out there. I’ve been on and off this app more times than I can count and it’s exhausting. Most of the time, guys are only collecting matches and will neither initiate or respond to your messages. Why did you swipe right on my face if you didn’t want to talk? Ugh.
- Finding someone who wants commitment seems impossible. Some days, I feel like a gnawing dental surgery would be infinitely better than playing hide and seek in searching for a guy that actually wants and isn’t afraid of commitment. There’s always some BS excuse like he’s “not ready” or he’s just “seeing what’s out there” or “doesn’t have the time for a relationship.” How can I care about dating when most of the time, it leads to a dead-end?
- Some people are so judgmental about the most trivial things. If there’s one minor thing that a person doesn’t like about you, your journey ends there because heaven forbid they would actually take the time to know the other amazing qualities you have. Why truly give someone a chance when you can swipe on another hundred faces you’ll probably never talk to? It’s such nonsense.
- I’m sick of being treated like a sex toy. I get it, I have a vagina. Apparently that means that nothing else about me matters. I’ll date a guy and be genuinely interested in getting to know him, but all he’s worried about is getting touchy-feely, trying to whisper cute crap into my ear so that my panties will drop — GTFO. There’s a lot more to me than just a reproductive organ and I’d just for ONCE like to meet a guy who is willing to know me for who I am. I know they exist, so where are they?
- Most guys are clueless AF. I’m sorry to say it, but in my experience, so many guys just don’t even know how to properly date anymore. Not all guys are guilty, obviously, but I’ve met a lot of guys who are horrible at communicating, don’t make plans and follow through with them, leave things until the last minute and think that calling me at 1am after a guys’ night out is romantic. Who raised these guys? I’d like to have a word with their parents.
- Good women are completely undervalued. There’s a serious epidemic out here and I’m going to come right out and say it. Women who are career driven, self-sufficient, strong and amazingly talented are the ones who are predominantly single. It’s infuriating that because so many of us chose to build ourselves into even more amazing girlfriend material and aim to bring something to the table with the guy we’re looking for, we’re actually seen as more intimidating and most guys seem to want the easy, simple girl they can rescue.
- I refuse to play these games to find love. I want to give a crap about dating because I want to find someone amazing to share my life with, but it’s hard to stay enthused when I feel like I need to alter my personality and play a part just to keep a guys interest. Love shouldn’t be forced or faked, and yet it feels like that’s the only way to win out here. I’m over it.
