On A Break? 6 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Resuming Your Relationship

Although nobody likes to be thrown into that gray area of a relationship, unfortunately it happens. You may think that taking a break is just code for breaking up, but sometimes, people really do need some time and distance to re-evaluate themselves and their relationship. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you’re in that gray area, there are a few questions that you need to ask yourself before rushing back in. Here they are:

  1. What caused the break in the first place? Breaks are typically caused by an indiscretion by one of the parties. Think long and hard about who or what caused this break and if it’s worth moving on from. Before you get back together, forgiveness and trust are required. Otherwise, the relationship won’t stand a chance of growing stronger.
  2. Who initiated the break? Are you guys on the same page? Was this a mutual agreement? Did he want to take a break or did you think of it first? Both parties should want the same thing, otherwise, one of you would have just completely broken up with the other person in the first place. If this is a mutual agreement, then you are both compliant as to where you both stand while you are in this situation.
  3. What are the chances of getting back together? Be realistic with yourself. Did you foresee this break coming? Sometimes, deep down we actually want to break up with our significant other, but we find it too difficult or too terrifying to let go of them. Other times, we really do just need some space. Figure out which one it is and ask yourself what are the odds of getting back to a normal, healthy relationship.
  4. What changes need to be made if you get back together? Issues from the past need to be resolved in order to move forward. Any mistakes that caused difficulty or tension need to be forgiven as well as learned from. Communicate with each other and ask yourselves what all the fights were about and how they can be prevented in the future.
  5. Will I be happier with or without him? First and foremost, the most important thing you need to make sure of while you’re in any relationship is that you’re truly happy with the person you’re dating. If you’re on a break, try to see if you are actually happier with him or without him. Don’t compromise your well-being just because you’re too afraid to let go. After all, you never know what the future holds.
  6. Do I want to marry him? It’s a scary question, but completely fair to ask. You may not want to marry him today, tomorrow, or even in a year, but you may want to marry him eventually. You need to know if you’re confident that you want to be with him for the long-haul. Be sure about whether this break is just temporary or not and if you truly want to be with him in the future.
Lindsey is a Digital Advertising Professional and Freelance Writer based in New York City. In her spare time, she enjoys running, traveling, and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee. Follow her on Twitter @lindseyruns