I’m One Of Those Girls That’s Perpetually Single… And I’m In No Rush To Change That

Lots of people complain about being single AF, but I actually kind of love it. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my years as a single lady and have spent them doing some amazing things I probably wouldn’t have if I’d been coupled up. I look forward to meeting a great guy someday, but this is why I’m still in no rush to change my relationship status:

  1. I’ve learned a ton about myself. My time flying solo has shown me a lot about how I act when I don’t have a significant other with me… and honestly, I really like what I’ve seen so far. I’ve learned that I’m way stronger than I thought, and I’ve discovered a lot of new passions that I never would’ve found if I’d had a boyfriend this whole time.
  2. I do great on my own. There are some people — and I was once one of them — who have a hard time living life without a guy by their side. But I think I do a pretty good job navigating the world without anyone literally or metaphorically holding my hand. I know how to get stuff done, and I don’t need a guy to help me financially, sexually, or emotionally.
  3. There’s no one I’m really interested in. I’m never really focused on getting into a relationship unless I have a specific person in mind. Right now, though, there’s really no one that I have a crush on. Maybe I’d feel differently if I was really wanting to get with someone special, but since there’s no one who’s caught my eye recently, I’m happy to continue my life single and satisfied.
  4. I enjoy being alone. I usually love being in a relationship when I actually have a boyfriend, but even then, I sometimes long for the days when I could just go home and read a book in my pajamas without worrying about feeling obligated to hang out with another person. Maybe I just haven’t found the right guy yet, but for now, I’m soaking up all that solo time I can get.
  5. I’m too independent for my own good. Am I the only one who feels tied down even when I’m dating someone I really like? I definitely need my space, and I often feel smothered when I’m in even the most loving of relationships. This is probably something I’ll need to get over eventually, but until then, I’m happy being Miss Independent.
  6. Dating is a nightmare. With all the horror stories about dating floating around, I’m admittedly a bit terrified to dive head-first into the dating pool. I have way too much going on to waste time on guys who may or may not work out. If I eventually do get into another relationship, it’s going to be with someone I’m already acquainted with. Until then, I don’t feel like I’m missing out by keeping Tinder off my phone.
  7. I’m too busy for a relationship. My life is always jam-packed with things to do, and I simply don’t see where a boyfriend would even fit into that massive puzzle. A worthy guy deserves more than a woman who’s too focused on her career and hobbies to remember to text him back, and unfortunately, that’s really all I can offer to a potential partner right now. I have enough on my plate, and a relationship would be way too much for me to handle right now.
  8. I’m loving being selfish. I’m definitely a giver in relationships, but all this time being single has shown me just how awesome it is to focus on myself and only myself. I don’t have to ask anyone if it’s cool to order pizza for the third time in one week, and if I want to make travel plans, I don’t have to take another person into consideration. I’ll go back to being my selfless self once I actually have a boyfriend again, but I’m taking this time to spoil myself a bit.
  9. I can make myself happy. My life doesn’t feel like it’s lacking anything, and I don’t feel like a romantic partner would add anything to it. I have a great family, the best friends anyone could ask for, and a life that I’m grateful to be living. If I one day find that there’s a hole in my life that only a boyfriend could fill, I might start looking again. But I’m perfectly delighted with the way things are right now.
  10. I’m in a stage of transition. It’s never a good idea to start dating someone when your life is in a state of flux, but that’s exactly where I am right now. I don’t know what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be going next, and the last thing I want is to drag some poor guy into all that chaos. I’ve been single for long enough now that waiting a bit longer until my life settles down definitely isn’t going to kill me.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.