If One More Person Asks Me Out For Drinks, I’m Going To Lose It

Why’s it such a popular thing to want to go out for drinks as a date, especially a first date? To me, it’s lazy and not very thoughtful, nevermind the fact that it leaves those of us who don’t drink in an awkward place. Especially as someone who doesn’t even drink in the first place, I want to do something other grabbing alcoholic beverages. Let’s get creative, weird, sober, whatever; let’s just not meet up over drinks.

  1. It’s as if that’s all there is to do on a date. It’d be one thing if I got invited out for drinks once or twice but I hear it all the time. It’s like the generic date idea asked by basic people all around. It drives me crazy! Tons of people want to grab a drink but not me. Let’s meet up over something else.
  2. No one should assume that everyone drinks. Asking this question right out of the gate assumes that everyone drinks, which is not at all a safe assumption. Perhaps it is if you’re definitely looking for someone who drinks—in that case, ask away! But assuming the person asking is okay dating someone who doesn’t drink, they shouldn’t discriminate in that way.
  3. I don’t even drink! Alcohol is almost never a part of my life. I’m not around it and I’m not even around others who are around it much. As a result, when I’m invited to meet up at a bar, I’m left super frustrated. I just don’t get why that has to be the go-to date option. I’m not the only one who doesn’t drink but I’m a super sensitive one.
  4. I’m a recovering alcoholic. It’s extra frustrating to me because I’m a recovering alcoholic. I don’t want to be around alcohol if I can avoid it, so I’m not going to gladly sign up for a date with booze. I wish people would be more respectful of the fact that I don’t drink—I mean, I get this a lot when online dating despite having a big line that clearly says “SOBER” on my profile. Let’s just respect the fact that I don’t drink, eh?
  5. Not everyone drinks. I don’t think that this frustration is unique to just me. There are plenty of other people who don’t drink as a result of being in recovery or just because it’s a personal choice. It’d benefit everyone to just stop using this as a go-to date idea. Alternatively, they could ask if you drink alcohol first rather than assuming. How hard is that?
  6. Drinking can lead to being wilder on a first date by lowering inhibitions. Most people just have a single drink or maybe two but some can get carried away and have more. It’s never fun to be sloppy on a first date. Then, you may be left sleeping with someone you wouldn’t have otherwise slept with. Even if it’s just a few drinks, alcohol can still lower people’s inhibitions. Whatever the outcome, it’s not the best idea to drink on a first date.
  7. Coffee’s safer. I don’t think anyone’s ever been offended by being asked to have coffee on a first date. It’s a pretty relaxed and easy option and it does away with many of the problems that booze brings to those who don’t drink. Plus, it works for drinkers and nondrinkers alike! Let’s caffeine it up rather than boozing it up.
  8. Can’t we be more creative? Fine, people like booze. There are also a million other date ideas that could happen. How about museums, board game cafes, or a fun show? We could even do something outdoorsy. Any of these are way more creative than just grabbing an alcoholic beverage. Plus, a creative date could mean unique memories together. Are you going to remember a hike at a lovely lake or a drink at the same old place?
  9. The liquid courage is taken away. I can empathize that some people like to drink on a first date because it gives them liquid courage. A drink or two loosens them up enough to just take the edge off and ease their anxiety. I don’t have that option, though, so I’d rather not be on a date with someone who does. Let’s both just be our awkward selves together without the liquid courage.
  10. You actually have to be present with each other. When not drinking, it forces two people to actually be present with one another. There are no mind-altering substances to bring your brain elsewhere. I much prefer this myself for obvious reasons, but also I’ll take it for my date, too. It’s lovely to actually show up for one another.
  11. Maybe I should just date someone else who doesn’t drink. All this talk about frustration around drinking as an option as a first date and I’m left thinking if I should just date someone who also doesn’t drink. I’d save myself a ton of hassle in many ways—starting with the fact that this question would never be asked.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.