My “One That Got Away” Just Got Married—I Shouldn’t Care, But I’m Devastated

I recently saw on social media that my “one that got away” just got married to his long-term GF. I know I should have moved on by now and that it shouldn’t affect me at all, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t devastated at this development.

We broke up a long time ago. 

It’s been (what feels like) an age since we were a thing. It’s not like he was my almost-BF a few months ago; I mean, we haven’t seen each other for years. The last I heard from him was a friendly hello on Instagram when he added me after years of no contact, right after he got engaged.

We weren’t technically even in a real relationship in the first place. 

Our situation was one of those “right person, wrong time” ones that meant we never really got off the ground. We were both kind of involved with other people at the time and then I moved across the country so we never got the chance to nurture our spark into a burning flame. It’s yet another reason I shouldn’t be so affected by his moving on.

I once cared for him a lot. 

Even though he was only an almost boyfriend and not an actual one, it still hurt like hell when I moved away from him. I mean, we had a really intense connection. It’s one of the strongest connections that I’ve ever had with a stranger and I honestly thought that he would become a big part of my life at one point. Even though it was no one’s fault, it was disappointing to realize that this would never be the case.

Things ended so suddenly, which made the whole thing suck more. 

One minute we were involved in a passionate liaison, the next minute we’d cut down contact because I’d moved and it was way too difficult to try and keep in touch. I had such strong feelings for him, but it was obvious that the relationship wasn’t going to progress so there was no reason to keep it going.

We talked a lot for a while until it all fizzled out. 

After I moved, we still talked all the time about meeting up and carrying on our rendezvous, but it never materialized. He got distracted by another girl and I got busy with work and it just didn’t happen. It obviously wasn’t meant to be, right?

We both moved on and I know it was for the best. 

Soon after we were separated, we both had someone new, which meant our chats were practically non-existent. It reached a point where I was still kind of hung up on him even though I was seeing someone else, so I had to cut him out of my life for my own sanity. It helped because I got over him and I’m now with the most amazing guy.

It still hurt to see his wedding photos

Even though I knew he was engaged when he added me on Instagram about a year ago, I didn’t expect to see his wedding photos pop up so soon. Even though nothing had happened between us for years, it still made me feel kind of sick seeing him stand next to his bride in her wedding dress. I mean, at one point, I honestly thought that might have been me one day.

I still wonder how he’s doing. 

I’m always going to have a soft spot for the guy because of the colossal feelings that were once involved. I legit can’t help it, just like sometimes I can’t help that I think of him from time to time and wonder how he’s doing. I’ll hear a song that was playing on the radio while we were driving around in his car or I’ll see a photo of the town where we used to meet up and have drinks and I’ll get a pang in my chest as I remember what used to be.

I wonder what could have been

I think it’s natural to wonder “what if?” when it comes to past relationships, but sometimes it surprises me that I always wonder what could have been with him. I mean, we were only seeing each other for a few months in total, and even then it was on and off. I suppose it’s because there was always so much promise in the relationship and such a strong bond, but then it all got taken away from us before we had the chance to explore it further. It was a bright light that suddenly got switched off and then we were plunged into darkness.

All that being said, I wish him the best. 

Even though I’ve often felt sad in a way, having to mourn the loss of everything that could have been between us, I wish my ex-almost BF and his new wife all the best. I hope that their marriage is filled with happiness, joy, and love. I’ve got my own amazing life to live—I need to stop getting distracted by his.

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