I Implemented A One-Year Man Ban & It Was The Best Idea Ever

Before I met my current long-term partner, I decided to undergo a one-year man ban and it was the best thing I could have done at the time. Sound insane, unbelievable, or downright impossible to you? Hear me out.

  1. I’d only been single for a little while but I was already over it. Even though I’d only been single (and looking) for a few months following my previous long-term relationship, I was already sick and tired of dating. Yeah, I know—it didn’t take long, which already says a lot about the caliber of men that were available at the time. Yawn.
  2. I was sick of guys screwing me over. I couldn’t deal with the type of guys I was meeting. It seemed like all they wanted to do was go on a couple of dates, have casual sex, and then move on. Every single one of them was the same. There was no substance, no depth, and only surface level chats and feelings, and I just wasn’t down for that. It’s not my style.
  3. I was still a bit fragile. It was no secret that I was still getting over my ex-BF. After all, I’m a woman who feels deeply, and it takes me a long time to get over it when a stranger looks at me weird, never mind when things disintegrate with someone I really knew and loved. I had pieces of me that hadn’t yet been put back together and I just couldn’t be dealing with guys who only wanted to use me for one thing. It hurt.
  4. I wanted something real. To be honest, I’ve never been the type to enjoy casual sex. I catch feelings way too easily—like sometimes, all a guy has to do is look at me and I’m already his. For real. That’s in large part why the whole dating game wasn’t working for me at the time. I only wanted to invest my time and effort in a guy who was worthy and might turn into a long-term thing.
  5. I got stuck in a pattern. This meant that dating became kind of a routine. I’d get to know a guy, think he was going to be something amazeballs, and open up… only to find out that he “just wants to have fun” and “isn’t ready for anything serious.” Wash, rinse, and repeat. Sigh.
  6. I knew something had to change. It wasn’t long before I came to the realization that I just wasn’t happy in this cycle. I needed to take control. After all, you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results, right?
  7. I vowed to avoid dating for one full year. My friends thought I was crazy when I told them that I wouldn’t be going on a single date for at least a year. In fact, they thought that I wouldn’t last a month. I could understand their skepticism, but I think they underestimated just how fed up I was with men at that point.
  8. Not gonna lie, it was difficult at first. I found it challenging to hear the excitement when my single friends had first dates lined up. It was also hard to turn down hot guys who approached me on single girls’ nights out. Heck, even seeing couples holding hands in the streets of my hometown gave me a forceful pang in my chest at what could be if I walked away from my one-year man ban. However, I was determined to stick it out.
  9. I stayed strong. After a while, I got used to being on my own. In fact, I even relished it. I had no one to think of but myself, there wasn’t any emotional stress, and I could starfish in bed as much as I wanted. The single life agreed with me. Plus, the year actually went by really fast!
  10. It did wonders for me. Cutting myself off from guys ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for many reasons. One of the main ones is that it cleared my head and made me realize exactly what I did and didn’t want in a future partner and relationship. It also allowed me the time I needed to heal from my previous (disastrous) romantic encounters. Thanks, man ban—you’re the best.
  11. It prepared me for my next chapter in love. After the year was up, my mind felt clearer, my heart had healed, and the broken pieces of myself slowly came back together. This meant that I was finally in the right headspace to open myself up to the possibility of love again.
  12. I didn’t actively seek love out afterward. Before my man ban, I would sometimes try and force romantic relationships because I was lonely or I wanted to fill a void within myself. Post-man ban, I felt so much stronger. I realized I didn’t need to date to make my life complete. I was already complete. Finding someone to love who loved me back would just be an added bonus.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.
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