Opinion: Online Dating Has Made Finding Love Nearly Impossible

Opinion: Online Dating Has Made Finding Love Nearly Impossible ©iStock/PeopleImages

Online dating was supposedly invented to make it easier to find the perfect partner, but all it’s done it made it even more difficult. The success of these apps proves that a lot of people have managed to find love with the swipe of a finger, but this is why I’m done trying to use them to find a worthwhile guy:

  1. They breed short attention spans. There are a million people out there to talk to, so why spend any time on just one? At least, that’s what it seems like a lot of guys are thinking. You exchange a couple sentences, and suddenly, he just ghosts out of the conversation. It happens over and over and over again. He saw something shiny somewhere else, obviously.
  2. There’s always something better just a swipe away. There are endless options, so why not just keep going and look for something better? No one takes the time to get to know anyone else. They’re all too worried they’re missing out on someone better that they haven’t encountered yet.
  3. You can’t create chemistry online. It’s impossible. Any rapport you develop with someone entirely over a screen and some exchanged words isn’t reliable. Nothing means anything until you meet face to face, and oftentimes you discover that the chemistry you had chatting online simply isn’t there when you finally go on a real date with the guy. It takes a lot of trial and error, and lots of people are simply too lazy to even follow through in the first place.
  4. No one needs another text buddy. All you do is text people all day already, so why waste more of that time talking to a perfect stranger? If you don’t meet in person pretty quickly, you just end up having a meaningless text conversation that goes nowhere in particular and then simply fizzles out. That’s no way to find real and lasting love.
  5. You hardly ever make it to a first date. Everyone is so used to hiding behind a screen that they’re terrified to have a real date. If a guy doesn’t make a concrete move to ask you out in a day or two after you connect online, there’s no point in continuing. Even when you’re the one who makes the move, your plans often fall apart before you even get to meet the guy in person.
  6. If you do meet up, there’s a high chance of no chemistry. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, right? But in the online dating world, there are SO many frogs. Since you aren’t meeting organically and in a normal setting, you have no feel for who the other person really is. It’s so weird and forced, and you end up having a lot of terrible and boring dates. It gets old very quickly.
  7. It’s impossible not to be superficial. When you can’t talk to someone and gauge them as a person, you can only rely on some pictures and a few sentences… and some people don’t even bother with that. If someone is so lazy that they won’t write a short dating profile, don’t expect them to be more enthusiastic about the dating process in general. It’s not a good way to begin a relationship, and there will always be better-looking people a swipe away.
  8. Most guys don’t even message back. You spent all that time and effort creating a profile and countless minutes swiping back and forth. Finally you make some matches that get you a little excited. These guys seem promising. You send a cute, cheery greeting and wait anxiously for a reply. And then, nothing. No response. It’s like they see it as a game designed to boost their egos instead of a way to find a real relationship.
  9. It’s just another distraction. It’s like a video game, except with real people. You collect “likes”, get to feel good about yourself, and then just log off. If that’s all it’s about, why not spend your time on something worthwhile? I have bigger problems than certain guys who didn’t swipe right on me, and I prefer to focus on them. I already have plenty of games on my phone, and I don’t need Tinder to be one of them.
  10. If you’re serious about dating, it’s beyond frustrating. You’ll just get mad that no one else is making an effort. You might come across a couple other with like minds, but don’t hold your breath. Go out and try to meet people elsewhere. So many of the guys you meet online are just window shopping, so it’s useless to try to turn your interactions with them into something more meaningful.
  11. It encourages apathy and laziness. There’s already a marked lack of effort when it comes to dating these days. Online dating only makes that worse. Why put in work when you can just swipe from the comfort of your sweats and your couch? People are literally afraid to go on dates and meet other people, and that’s not the way I’d like to start my happily ever after.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.