Only Selfish Guys Pull This Crap, So Don’t Put Up With It

Why do some guys make it seem like meeting you halfway is an unreasonable request? Sure, we love them, but the truth is that a lot of them tend to view women as instant mommies, ATMs, and personal talking sex toys. They get away with a lot of these behaviors because of the fact that we put up with them. Enough! If he pulls any of this selfish BS, send him on his way.

  1. He pretends not to know how to do something so that you’ll do it instead of him. All of a sudden, he just doesn’t know how to do his laundry. Imagine that! He’s an engineering major with a minor in rocket science, but suddenly, he doesn’t know how to dump clothes in a machine then press a button. No, in truth he’s looking to be babied and he’s looking at you to do work he knows how to do. Don’t fall for it.
  2. He insinuates that you owe him something because he paid for something you wanted or needed. This is also known as emotional blackmail or financial blackmail, and it’s something that guys do when they want to control someone. This is an extremely manipulative move, and it’s also one that shows that he really doesn’t care about you. If a guy tells you that you owe him, he only cares about what you do for him.
  3. He belittles your needs, or tells you that you’re way too demanding. Sometimes, guys who are all out for themselves will wait a while before they actually turn into users or abusers. After all, when you’re first dating, you’re usually on your best behavior. The minute that you notice him laughing off your needs, concerns, or feelings is the moment you need to leave!
  4. He won’t stand up for you. A real man stands up for his woman, regardless of who he may piss off. A guy who can’t do that is just plain selfish.
  5. He expects you to be his sugar mama, but doesn’t do work around the house. Since when is it your job to financially support a man-child? If he’s not doing the dishes, cooking food, and cleaning the house, he’s not pulling his weight. Instead, he’s just coasting on your gravy train like the selfish, lazy prat he is.
  6. The only thing he talks about is himself, his needs, and his feelings. This is a subtle one, but it’s a doozie. If all he’s talking about is him, that’s all he thinks about. Expect him to act accordingly.
  7. He shows no empathy. It’s really hurtful when a guy does this after you incurred a major loss, because he’s supposed to be there for you. When all he does is tell you to “suck it up,” it’s time to bail. After all, you know that if the shoe was on the other foot, he’d be expecting you to coddle him while he cries.
  8. When he’s asked to compromise, his favorite word is “no.” In a normal relationship, it’s a matter of give and take. If he always refuses to meet people halfway, he’s being selfish and unreasonable.
  9. He constantly makes excuses as to why something is “your job.” When you’re dating him, cooking is always your job, because the Bible says so. Bringing home money is your job, because he’s feeling too tired to go and work. Dealing with his mother is also your job, because why not? All those excuses are 100% BS 2016. There are no “roles” here; he’s just being lazy.
  10. He keeps “forgetting” his wallet. No one forgets their wallet on a regular basis. He just didn’t want to pay for the date.
  11. He doesn’t apologize. Saying that you’re sorry doesn’t cost anything, and it can make someone feel light years better about a situation. If a guy really messed up something and still won’t apologize, he’s a selfish person that doesn’t deserve you.
  12. His stuff is his stuff, and your stuff is his stuff, too. Some really selfish guys will make a point of telling you that his money is his, but won’t have any qualms telling you that you should let him use your stuff, too. When a guy does this, it’s not a relationship that has you as a “team.” It’s a relationship where he gets more stuff and expects you to deal.
  13. He makes decisions for the both of you, and flips out if you disagree. If a guy does this, it’s total BS behavior on his end. He is not the boss of you, and if he flips out like a toddler having a tantrum, it’s time to leave. He’s too selfish and too angry to make a good boyfriend.
  14. He’s always late. If a person is actually considerate, he will make time for you and not waste yours. If he’s selfish, he’ll be perennially late because he has no issue making you wait.
  15. If you want to leave him, he threatens you. This is also a form of emotional blackmail — or just straight up blackmail. If he’s threatening to hurt himself, hurt you, or mess up your life, he’s so selfish that he doesn’t care how miserable you are with him. The funny thing about threats is that they are often hot air, and they almost always can be reported to the authorities and taken care of. If he does this, cut him loose and teach him not to threaten you.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.