If you find yourself turning off the lights every time you’re ready to have sex with your partner, stop. Regardless of your insecurities or imperfections, you’re missing out on a lot by only getting down in the dark.
- You’re missing out on the visual side of sex. The physical side of sex is so important, but it’s nothing without the things you can catch a glimpse of when you’re not shadowed in darkness. If you can see your partner’s amazing body clearly, it can help you feel even more turned on in the moment. It also means your partner will get to indulge fully in you, even if you’re not feeling as confident that day.
- Lights-on sex is key to working on your body confidence. Body confidence has to start with you. When you’re feeling low about your appearance, this can make sex a more nerve-wracking experience than it should be. Although you should never have sex in the light if you aren’t comfortable with it, if you hide away from your body forever, your body confidence won’t have a chance to flourish. Take baby steps and introduce a little more light into the bedroom each time you have sex, and you’ll start to appreciate all the wonderful things that make you, you in no time.
- Sex is less awkward when you can actually see each other. The main problem with having sex in the dark is the unbearable awkwardness that can come about from not being able to see what you’re doing. It can be a huge turn-off when you’ve bumped heads five times already or when you just can’t find where the bed is. Remove the bumbling apologies from sex and switch on the light.
- There are no (or at least far fewer) nasty accidents with the lights on. Awkwardness is one thing, but having things go completely the opposite way than you anticipated can be another. Not to be crude, but you just don’t want anything going where you don’t expect it to go. You also don’t want to accidentally hit your partner where it hurts when you’re trying to get into the right position. Unless they’re into that, it’s just not that sexy.
- It’s easier to stay protected. When it’s dark, you might think you’re putting the condom on the right way, but there’s no way of knowing unless you have to turn on your phone light to check. This is a major turn-off in and of itself. There’s also the fact that if you ever feel like you’re in danger, having the light on can act as a safety measure from anything dodgy going down.
- It means you can be more adventurous. Being adventurous is not so easy when you can’t see anything, and anyway, what’s the point if you don’t know what’s going on? When you’re trying something new, you also want to know you’re doing it right and doing it safely without worrying about anything going wrong. Don’t forget that the visual side of this can add a whole new element to your sex life.
- You can have sex before dark. Restricting sex to after the sun’s gone down can really keep you from making the most of alone time at any time of the day. Once you’ve been able to build your confidence, you’ll be able to see the wonders of morning sex, afternoon sex, surprise lunch break quickie sex… you get the picture. When you realize what’s waiting for you beyond the darkness, you won’t ever want to look back.
- It helps you be more intimate. Kissing is arguably better than sex. When you can’t see how close you are to somebody, it removes the personal aspect of your encounter. If you don’t want that personal side, I guess leaving the lights off might be a good call for you. However, if you want to feel that closeness to your partner and become as intimate as possible, you should leave the light on next time. There’s nothing better than seeing the expression on your partner’s face when you make them feel amazing.
- No darkness doesn’t mean you have to have sex under bright white lights. The biggest misconception about having sex without total darkness is that you have to make the jump into a weirdly sterile lighting situation. In fact, you can be a lot more versatile than this. Warm, glowing candles can really set the mood and will also make your body look even better than it already does. Not to mention, having low lights can truly create a romantic setting.