I’d Rather Be The Only Single Girl In My Circle Than The Only One In A Relationship—Here’s Why

When the single women are having fun road trips and partying it up, I always feel like a bit of a drag because of my relationship status. Here’s why I’d rather be the only single woman in my group of friends.

  1. It’s easier to fit in. Honestly, I’ve experienced less criticism from friends when I’ve been the only one who wasn’t in a relationship. No, seriously. While the “When are you getting someone?” and “We’ll find you a great guy!” stuff can be pretty stressful, it’s better than what I deal with as the only taken woman.
  2. My single friends hate guys. Here’s the thing: my single friends are mostly women who hate guys. They don’t see the point of being in a relationship, they think all guys are toxic, and they’re quick to share those opinions with me. Um, hello, got a great guy over here! It’s so irritating.
  3. I can’t share the love. Sometimes it feels like I can’t share my happiness with my single friends. I can’t go on and on about how blissed out I am being with my partner. This is sad because it means I have no one to share that with. Honestly, sometimes it feels like my single friends just don’t get it.
  4. My stories bore them. When I’ve been the only single in a group, I’ve sometimes felt like my single woman stories were entertaining. I was the fun, wild one in the group and sometimes they were envious of my freedom. But now, as a taken woman, I feel like my couple stories are boring and they’re the exciting ones. I feel left out.
  5. I always feel guilty. I really try to keep my friendships going but it’s not always easy now that I’m in a LTR. To be honest, sometimes I just wanna chill at home with my beau instead of going out with my partying friends. However, that’s always sure to get me some criticism. My friend recently said, “You’re so coupled up and forgetting about us.” But I’m not! It’s just hard to juggle everything.
  6. I’m not the fountain of advice. I used to have these glamorized ideas that I’d be the fountain of wisdom for my single friends. They’d turn to me, their friend in a successful relationship, for help on their dating woes. Um, that hasn’t happened. In fact, they never ask me for dating advice because in their words, I “wouldn’t really understand what it’s like to be single.” Right, even though I was single for a long time before finding my partner!
  7. They don’t believe that I’m happy coupled up. Sometimes I get the feeling my single friends think I’m jealous of their freedom and all the fun they’re having but honestly, I’m happier in a relationship. Should I really be shot down for that? To each their own! I once shared this with them and they thought I was lying and that I was denying my love of being single.
  8. I’m left out of a lot of activities. When I was a single woman in a group of friends who had partners, it was easier to fit in. Sure, sometimes those plus-one events were bothersome, but I was always invited. The problem with being the only taken woman is that I miss out on a lot of the fun my single friends have. For instance, if they go to clubs, I don’t get invited. It’s like they think I’m just being boring every Saturday night now that I’m in a LTR. Although I sometimes do want to chill at home, an invitation would be nice…
  9. Some of my friends are jealous. Of course, there are some amazing single friends I have who are happy for me and want the best for me. Still, I can’t deny that there are other single friends who are jealous of me being taken. They shoot me down when I try to share facts about my relationship and they’re quick to tell me that my loved-up state makes them sick.
  10. It’s awkward to involve my partner. Something taken women often experience is the difficulty of trying to include their partners in their social lives. Sometimes single friends feel a bit put out to have to deal with their friend’s plus-one and they’d prefer quality time with just the girls. But it’s not always fair. I’m in a relationship and I want my friends and boyfriend to get along! Maybe I’m selfish and I just want to be able to see all my loved ones together at the same time.
  11. I hate feeling like I have to choose. I love my partner but I also love my single friends. Sometimes, though, it feels like my single friends want me to choose them over my partner. The looks I get when I have to rush off to meet my partner—yikes! And yet it’s normal to have those moments when one’s relationship is a priority. Being in love doesn’t mean I’m a bad friend or that I neglect my single friends. I just wish they’d understand where I’m coming from.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.