Men aren’t the only ones who daydream about one-night stands. Even women who have their heart set on monogamy will fantasize about sleeping with certain people. If you’re hot, but don’t have the personality to match, then we’re only going to want you for one thing. Here’s an open letter to all of the men we want to sleep with, but don’t actually want to date:
- Don’t let our affection fool you. When we like ten of your selfies in a row, don’t assume that we want a serious relationship complete with marriage and babies. We just want to engage in the act that leads to babies, and then go our separate ways.
- We expect it to be amazing. Yes, we’re setting our expectations a little too high, but that’s because you’re so damn hot. Since you’re so attractive, we assume you’ve done this plenty of times before, which means you should be a pro at it.
- We don’t need to go on a date first. It’s not that your personality is absolutely atrocious. It just wouldn’t mesh well with ours, which is why we’d prefer to see you naked ASAP than have an actual conversation with you.
- We’re going to brag about you. Just a fair warning: After we sleep with you, we’re going to tell all our friends about it. Don’t worry, because we’ll leave out the embarrassing bits to make the story sound juicier.
- We don’t know how to act. We don’t want to look too eager by jumping on top of you, but we don’t want to be too subtle either, because then you’ll think we want to date you. We don’t know how to approach you without messing it up.
- It’s a compliment. We wouldn’t sleep with any old guy, so it’s really a compliment that we’re willing to slip under the sheets with you, even though we’d never agree to date you. Most men would consider themselves lucky to be in your shoes.
- We’ve stalked your social media. We want to see as many pictures as you as possible, which is why we might accidentally like an Instagram photo from months ago. It’s not our fault that you look so good that we can’t stop stalking.
- We don’t intend to hurt you. We’ve been used by men who have only wanted sex, and we don’t want to make anyone else feel that kind of pain. If we ever get the opportunity to actually sleep with you, we’ll make our intentions clear from the start, so that your heart remains in tact.
- We’ve already thought about you. This probably speaks for itself, but even though we haven’t had sex yet, we’ve already fantasized about it happening. We’ve spent plenty of late nights touching ourselves with you on our mind.
- We kind’ve do want to date you. We know you wouldn’t be a good fit for us, but a tiny part of us does want to date you. Of course, it’s only so we can have sex with you whenever and wherever we’d like.
