An Open Letter To Men Who Send Mixed Signals

An Open Letter To Men Who Send Mixed Signals ©iStock/Pixelfit

Mixed signals can drive a woman mad. After all, a man either wants us or he doesn’t, so he should just make his feelings clear and save us the trouble of wondering what the hell he’s thinking. Since way too many of us deal with confusing guys, here’s an open letter to any man who sends mixed signals:

  1. We’re waiting for you to clear things up. We have no idea if you want to sleep with us, or if you only want to be friends, so we aren’t going to risk making the first move. We’re waiting for you to tell us where you stand, so we aren’t stuck wondering if we should change our relationship status or start looking at other options.
  2. You aren’t winning us over by playing hard to get. Texting us one day and ignoring us the next day isn’t mysterious, enticing, or sexy. It’s just plain frustrating, so if you like us, just tell us and quit it with the mind games.
  3. We’re sick of trying to figure you out. At first, it was fun rereading your text messages to figure out if you had a crush on us. Now, it’s getting old. We don’t want to waste hours analyzing every sentence you send us.
  4. You’re damaging our self-esteem. We know we don’t need a man to make us feel sexy, but we can’t help feeling a little unattractive when you won’t call us back. You’re crushing our ego.
  5. You can’t expect us to drop everything for you. On the days when you actually feel like talking to us, you can’t expect us to jump at the chance to speak to you. If you never make us your first priority, then why would we make you ours?
  6. It’s sexier to be straightforward. Maybe you’re sending mixed signals, because you’re too scared to ask us out, or because you think it’s manly to avoid expressing your feelings. Whatever the case, we’d rather have you bluntly tell us how you feel, so we can stop playing guessing games.
  7. You need to make up your mind. If you’re sending mixed signals, because you legitimately aren’t sure how you feel about us, then you better figure it out quickly. We aren’t going to be single forever, you know.
  8. It’s not fair to lead us on. If you have no intention of dating us, then don’t pretend that you’re interested. We’d rather know how you feel about us from the start, so that we don’t have unrealistic expectations about dating you.
  9. Relationships can’t be one-sided. You don’t get to decide when and if you’re going to date us, so don’t fool yourself into believing that those decisions are up to you. We have a say, as well, so don’t assume that you can have us whenever you’re ready to finally date us.
  10. You’re going to lose your chance with us. We want someone who will always be there for us, not someone who will only show up when they feel like it. We need consistency, and if you won’t give it to us, we’re going to stop giving you second chances.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.