An Open Letter To The Guys We’ve Never Gotten Closure With

An Open Letter To The Guys We’ve Never Gotten Closure With ©iStock/BraunS

We all know that there’s no sense in worrying about relationships that ended long ago. Unfortunately, we can’t stop ourselves from dwelling on the men we’ve never gotten closure with. We feel like the relationship hasn’t ended yet, so how could we possibly move on? It’s hard, but we have to try, which is why I’ve written this letter to the men we’ve never gotten closure with:

  1. We can’t stop thinking about you. We understand that the relationship is over, but we just want to know why. Since you’ve never told us the reason why you ended things, we constantly replay the entire relationship in our heads, trying to figure out where it went wrong.
  2. You’re making us paranoid. Since you’re not going to tell us why you left us, we’re stuck trying to come up with the answer on our own. We’ll spend weeks wondering if we’re too annoying, too ugly, or too unbalanced for a serious relationship.
  3. You’re sabotaging our future relationships. Entering a new relationship without knowing what went wrong in our previous relationship is risky. We could end up making the same major mistakes without even realizing it, all thanks to you.
  4. We don’t know if we should move on. Without closure, it doesn’t feel like the relationship is really over. That’s why we might not even try to move on, because we’re too busy wondering if there’s a chance we could get back together with you someday.
  5. We’re sorry if we hurt you. As hard as we tried, we weren’t perfect girlfriends. We know that you’re probably hurting from the breakup too, and we’re sorry for whatever it is we did that caused you pain.
  6. We don’t think we’re being unreasonable. We don’t want to pressure you to be friends with us or force you to return all of the gifts we bought you. We just want to hear something more than “it’s not you, it’s me.”
  7. We feel stupid for caring. It’s clear that you don’t care about us, which is why we feel a little silly for being so worried about you. It makes us wonder if our relationship was one-sided the entire time we were together.
  8. We don’t need you. Don’t assume that our frequent calls and texts mean we want to get back together. We just want to hear from you, so that we can ask you a few questions (or maybe curse you out).
  9. We’re better off without you. A real man would care about his ex enough to help her get closure. The fact that you aren’t willing to sit down and talk to us proves that it’s actually a good thing that we broke up, even though it feels pretty damn painful.
  10. We’ll eventually forgive you. Even though we’re pissed right now, we won’t stay that way forever. We’ll eventually forgive you, because that’s the only way that we’re going to heal and move on.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.
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