Opinion: Every Woman Should Go Through A Promiscuous Phase

I don’t care what anyone says — every woman should go through a promiscuous phase. That doesn’t mean you should be having unprotected sex with every stranger you match with on Tinder, but don’t be afraid to explore. You can stay safe and act smart while sleeping around. It’ll do you good.

  1. You’ll become more comfortable with your body. You shouldn’t turn the lights off whenever your shirt comes off. You should embrace your body, because you’re inherently hot. The more you have sex, the more comfortable you’ll be showing off your skin.
  2. Not every man is marriage material. Don’t let a hot man pass you by, just because you can’t imagine a future with him. There are plenty of ways you two can spend your time that don’t involve dating. Casual sex isn’t anything unusual in this century, anyway.
  3. You shouldn’t settle down until you’re ready. You don’t want to jump into a relationship you’re not ready for, just because you’re horny. If you’re only interested in sex, it’s okay to find a FWB or a one-night stand.
  4. Your number doesn’t actually matter. STDs and pregnancies matter, but your number doesn’t. Your vagina isn’t going to get floppy after having a few too many penises inside of it.
  5. One day, you’ll be stuck with one man. If you don’t get your promiscuous phase out of your system now, you’ll regret it in the future. It’ll be easier for you to come to terms with sleeping with one man for the rest of your life if you’ve already experienced everything that was out there.
  6. Orgasms will make you healthier. Instead of going to the gym, you can just work out the springs in your bed. Orgasms can boost your immune system, help you fall asleep, and get rid of headaches. They’re the gift that keeps on giving.
  7. You deserve to have some fun. After a long work week, you deserve to go out and let loose on the weekends. Instead of getting blackout drunk or experimenting with drugs, have sex. It won’t be hurting anyone.
  8. No one will know. No one’s going to know that you’ve been sleeping around, unless you tell them. Even if they find out, what’s the difference? They might judge you for being “promiscuous” but they’d judge you for being a virgin too, so you can’t win.
  9. You’ll enhance your skills in bed. Practice makes perfect. The more you fool around, the better you’ll be in the bedroom.
  10. You’ll know what type of men are out there. You’ll have no idea how many different positions, sex toys, and kinks exist until you start sleeping around. Every guy will teach you something new. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, because it’ll help you learn what type of sex you’ll want with your future husband.
  11. Enjoy the moment. When you’re focused on turning sex into a relationship, you won’t have as much fun. You’ll be worried about what each moan and moment of eye contact means. But if you’re just having sex for the fun of it, you’re going to enjoy it in a way you never have before.

What my own promiscuous phase taught me

  1. One-night stands are way too awkward for me. In my younger years, I had no problem tip-toeing around a strange bedroom, gathering my things to do the inevitable walk of shame back to my apartment, but now that I’m older, I wouldn’t be caught dead in that situation. I’m awkward enough as it is and I really don’t need to fuel that fire.
  2. They almost never lead to relationships. I used to spend countless hours thinking about that guy I went home with after a wild night at the bar, but now, if I were to choose a worthy contender, I would know exactly what he was there to do and not obsess about whether or not we had a real connection.
  3. Monogamy is attainable. It’s not hard for me to stay faithful in a relationship if it’s everything I need. Sure, some people may find the lack of strange suffocating, but if I found the right guy, one penis for the rest of my life would be more than fine.
  4. I know exactly what I want in the bedroom. And it’s not the jackrabbit or the let’s-do-every-position-under-the-sun-in-the-15-minutes-before-climax variety of sex. Having sex with an assortment of guys had its perks when it came to learning what styles worked for me, what styles I never want to try again and how to communicate those styles to my future husband.
  5. Sex is better when I’m in love. The hottest sex I’ve ever had was with someone I was deeply in love with and none of the one-night stands could even come close. It may not be the same for everybody, but I could never get off with any of my casual encounters. That helped me realize that a promiscuous phase, although important and incredibly fun, wouldn’t last long for me.
  6. I’m really good in bed. I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m a great lover. I know how to turn a guy on and what to do when he gets there. It’s a great skill to have when it comes to my future marriage because I’ll know just how to keep things passionate and fresh.
  7. Sex is a real confidence booster. It’s hard to imagine, but the more sex I had, the more desirable I felt. I never felt guilty or bad about myself because another guy I wanted just happened to want me back. When I was going through my phase, my confidence was at an all-time high and because of that, I still have a healthy level of self-esteem that will serve me well in my future relationship.
  8. The right guy won’t care about who’s been there before. The only thing he’ll care about is whether or not he’s the only one I’m with, and that’s the way it should be. The past has passed and if I’m not dwelling on it, then neither should anyone else.
  9. I own my sexuality and all that comes with it. The term “slut” is meant to be derogatory and offensive, but I’m calling BS. I was a promiscuous woman and I’m not ashamed of it. In fact, being promiscuous isn’t a bad thing. The man that truly loves me will love me and all my former promiscuous glory.
Bolde Voices represents writers from around the world who want to share their stories anonymously. While everything you read is based on personal experience, it's the ability to tell their truths without being identified that allows those behind the pieces you read to be so brutally honest.