Opinion: If You’re Feeling Lonely, It’s Because You’re Lazy

We all experience loneliness occasionally, but instead of letting it overtake you, there’s an easy solution: get up, get out there, and change your life. Frankly, if you’re feeling lonely long-term, it’s probably down to pure laziness.

  1. You have too much time on your hands. This doesn’t mean you can’t take breaks from the hectic pace of everyday life or that being less busy is a bad thing, but if you have the time to circle in the lonely pit, you might not be busy enough. After all, if you’re always working on yourself and making the most out of life, when would you have the time to be experiencing this feeling?
  2. You’re not giving your friends and family enough attention. Sometimes you’d rather stay in than go out and socialize. That’s fine occasionally, but if you do this on a constant basis, however, you’ll start feeling disconnected from other people. You may even start pushing people away because you feel judged or unaccepted by the general public on the rare occasion that you do go out. This miscommunication between people can lead you to feel like an outsider and you’ll start going out less. This, of course, is when you’ll start to feel lonely.
  3. You’re not engaged with your life anymore. When you’re feeling the lonely vibes, it might be due to a lack of engagement. You’re too unmotivated to go out and meet people or you’re not keeping yourself busy enough with things you have to do. This results in sitting at home and feeling left out, but that’s all down to you. If you let life overwhelm you and fail to engage with the world around you, is there any wonder you’re feeling lonely?
  4. You don’t take care of yourself. Failing to work out or pay attention to your health can lead to a weaker immune system. You’ll find yourself more inclined to stay in bed or you might have to stay in because you get sick more often. When you can’t go out because you’re stuck under the blankets watching Netflix by yourself, the feeling of being lonely will only intensify.
  5. You’re not making an effort. Putting zero effort into anything—dating, your work, your dreams—will definitely make you feel alone. While others engage in social life or in self-improvement, you’ll feel like you’re lagging behind. This causes a gap between you and the people you know and the chasm will get bigger the more you hide from your discomfort. Eventually, you’ll find yourself spiraling down that lonely rabbit hole.
  6. You’re giving up. Giving yourself permission to fail and having a “whatever” attitude towards life in general is no way to live. With the permission to fail, you lack the guilt factor which functions as a trigger for many of us to step up our game and achieve our life goals. Without this reaction, it’s a slippery slope down to lonely land where everything is always forgiven and no effort is needed. That’s not to say you’ll never fail, just that it should inspire you to try again rather than defeat you.
  7. You’re lying to yourself. Some of us spend more time talking to people online than in real life. We trick ourselves into thinking that this is socializing, but why do we still feel lonely? This is because as humans, socializing and mingling with people is very important. Not only do you experience physical contact with another human being but you make memories which are vital for our relationships. Put away your phone and head out, that’s where the real people are!
  8. You’re choosing to be lonely. There’s always a way to go out and meet people, to find hobbies that keep you busy and happy enough to avoid the negative emotion. With the internet, you’re just a few clicks away from another meet-up or event. Yet whenever we decide to procrastinate, we keep ourselves in the vicious circle of staying alone, pitying our lonely lives when really we could be doing so much more.
  9. You might be experiencing depression. It’s a common thing to say you’re depressed when you’re having a bad day, but being lazy and being depressed are two very different things! Only a certified therapist can tell you which of the two you are. Make sure you’re not giving yourself a pass by self-diagnosing your laziness as depression. There are many opportunities out there waiting for you, so make sure you’re not missing out for no reason!
is a college student from Europe who enjoys writing novels and over-indulging in skincare products. More on her and her work @itsivyl on Instagram and @TheJadeWheel on Wattpad.
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