Opinion: Most Men Aren’t Capable Of Being Faithful

I know it sounds harsh but, based on what I’ve seen, I don’t think most men are capable of long-term fidelity. I’d love to be proven wrong but sadly, I don’t think I am.

  1. I don’t believe most guys are hardwired to be monogamous. I don’t know if anyone is, honestly. That’s probably why long-term monogamous relationships take so much communication, honesty, and hard work. It’s not easy staying with one person forever, I’m sure. I wouldn’t know personally. Ha. It just seems like eventually cheating is bound to happen.
  2. That doesn’t mean they aren’t accountable. If a guy tries to fall back on that as an excuse, though, he’s just a jackass. If he can’t handle staying faithful, he shouldn’t be in an exclusive relationship. It’s that simple. He needs to eithe keep his penis in his pants or be a decent person and break up before he gets physical with someone else.
  3. I know so many women who’ve been cheated on. It’s hard to believe that most men are capable of being faithful when the list of those I know who aren’t keeps growing. I know I’m cynical, but I can’t help but think about all the guys cheating who just aren’t getting caught. Maybe I’ve even been cheated on, who knows? I can’t be sure I haven’t. In fact, now that I think about it, I probably have.
  4. I know lots of cheaters too. I’ve known a lot of dudes who have cheated on their girlfriends. I worked with most of them and didn’t know their girlfriends, and it’s good for them I didn’t. Want to know why I’m cynical about men? Ask the countless number of my coworkers who have openly bragged about cheating and never getting caught. It’s repulsive, and disgusting, and makes me paranoid AF.
  5. I think that if they believe they’ll get away with it, most men will cheat. Okay, this is going to piss some people off. I don’t think most men have inherent moral compasses when it comes to sex. I hope that they do, but I don’t see it often in my life. After knowing this many cheaters and victims of cheating, I’m fairly certain any guy will cheat if he thinks his girl will never find out.
  6. I think the only thing holding them back is fear and guilt. When a man is actually faithful, I believe that most of the time it’s because he’s afraid. He’s afraid of getting caught and of losing his cushy, comfortable little relationship when he does. A lot of guys have it made with the women they are with and they don’t want to deal with the fallout. I also think that some men know they would feel too guilty afterward. I still don’t think most of them abstain because of pure and virtuous morals.
  7. Finding someone new is easier than working on the relationship. From what I’ve seen and experienced, a lot of men are simply lazier about maintaining their partnerships. They want it to be smooth sailing, easy with no conflicts, and that’s not how life works. When it’s not fresh and new and shiny anymore, many of them discard the relationship for something new. It’s always easier in the beginning, so they just keep trading out girls.
  8. They have life crises and turn to other women. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen men flip out and freak because their lives aren’t what they want them to be. Their preferred method of acting out? Cheating. It’s like an “I just turned 30 and I’m still a mess” crisis. Then they go and make their lives further disasters by screwing around on their girlfriends or wives. It’s madness.
  9. If they don’t feel appreciated or desired enough, they go find it elsewhere. Never mind that they stopped taking care of themselves and got out of shape. Never mind that they hardly make any effort in the bedroom anymore. No, no, it’s the woman’s fault, obviously. If another woman shows them appreciation or attention without asking for anything in return, many guys are drawn in that direction instead. It’s like if they’re held to any kind of standard, the response is to turn and run the other way.
  10. They don’t want to deal with the headache of a breakup, so they cheat instead. The relationship is fine… it would be almost perfect if they could just have sex with other women. Too bad. If you’re not in an open relationship, then you don’t get to have it both ways. Yeah, of course breakups are the worst. You know what’s worse? Breaking the heart of someone you’re supposed to care about by sleeping without someone else behind her back. Is that really so hard to understand?
  11. Many guys are easily bored having sex with just one person. Yes, having sex with the same person could possibly get boring, but it doesn’t have to be that way. A relationship needs constant work, and that includes the physical aspect too. In fact, the sex could get better with more emotional and mental intimacy. Again, I find a lot of men to be super lazy when it comes to sex. They try to impress in the beginning, and then they’d rather have lazy sex than maintain the quality. Then it gets boring and they want to sleep with other women, but they only have themselves to blame. Ugh.
  12. I hear the way men talk about other women. I work in the service industry and I’m around tons of men all day long. They include the co-workers I see every day and the customers who are different daily. I’ve overheard a lot of male conversation in my relatively short work career. Many men say disgusting things about women, and yes, words do matter. If he’s saying that much perverted stuff about strangers, he obviously doesn’t respect women, especially not his own partner. I’ve heard so many men talk about cheating or wanting to cheat that it hardly even phases me anymore. It’s really depressing. Is it any wonder I don’t trust guys?
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.