After breaking up with a jerk, so many women think that if they found a guy who would treat them like a queen, then things would be better. I’m here to help dispel that myth. I believe that being treated like a queen is a horrible idea that will bring more dissatisfaction than happiness. Here’s why.
You’d feel guilty.
Being treated like a queen means that your partner would dote on you. He’d do just about anything to make you happy and comfortable. Deep down inside, we all know we don’t deserve that kind of selfless sacrifice. It’s not that we have a self-worth complex, it’s that we understand that equality is critical for human happiness and sustainability. Your boyfriend treating you like a queen would make him unequal to you. I’m pretty sure the last few thousands of years have proven that inequality between the sexes isn’t a good idea.
You’d never get to experience new things.
When it’s all your way, then all you ever experience is what you know and are interested in. The great thing about being in a relationship where you both have a say is that each person brings a richness to the relationship based on past experiences. If you want to have it all your way all the time, you’ll end up missing out on a lot.
You won’t be challenged.
When you’re the queen, no one wants to tell you the truth for fear of upsetting you. I find that the dynamics of a relationship in good times tend to get worse when times are bad. Think about it. When things are good and you let someone talk over you or push you, then those same patterns will follow when you’re in a fight. If it’s all about you when things are good, the same will happen when things are bad, likely even to a worse degree. It’s often those closest to us that push us to grow. If your guy treats you like a queen and never tells you no, that won’t happen.
You’ll lose a sense of empathy.
So many people love to blame the behavior of bratty kids on their innate nature. The truth is, that brattiness is a result of an environment. The same goes for lack of empathy. If your feelings are all that matters, pretty soon you’ll find it hard to empathize. Not only in your relationship but in your friendships and other relationships too. You don’t want to turn into someone that no one can stand. If everything in your relationship goes your way, you’ll slowly start to morph into a nightmare. Contrary to popular belief, being selfish won’t make you happier.
You’ll start to feel lonely.
When everything in your relationship is about you, then your guy won’t come to you for stuff. Relationships are all about sharing. That’s what makes you feel close to a person. But if your partner is so used to catering to you, he won’t want to bring up his problems. Pretty soon, you’ll find yourself in a shell of a relationship. By then it’ll be too late to break the patterns you’ve established.
He’ll start to feel neglected.
It doesn’t matter how giving a person is. Every human being has needs. If it’s all about you, then he won’t bring them up and you sure as hell won’t meet them. Pretty soon, your guy will start asking (or at least thinking), “What about me?” By the way, if any of this sounds familiar, it’s because it is. Over the last few thousand years, men were treated like kings. Women felt neglected. Back then, they stayed for financial and social reasons. These days, men don’t have the same motivation. If you keep letting him treat you like a queen, your relationship will soon end.
He’ll grow resentful.
Today more than ever, the majority of people have a higher sense of worth. No one wants to be taken for granted. If you keep having it your way, he’ll grow tired of seeing at something he loves to do and eventually, he’ll start feeling like a chump for allowing an ordinary human being like himself to lord over him.
His view of you will change.
When you first start dating a guy, he sees you one way. If he chooses to treat you like a queen, then it’s for his own reasons. The problem is that being treated like a queen changes you. You become more inward-looking, less patient, and less of a partner. Your guy will recognize this and start to question why he’s with you in the first place.
Your relationship will end.
This happens in 99% of cases. There is a tiny group of men out there that enjoys catering to a woman’s every need, but the majority of men you’ll meet won’t. It takes considerable effort to provide for a person’s every need. After a while, it gets tiring, then downright ridiculous. If your guy were to treat you like a queen, he’d get tired of it eventually. “What if I treat him like a king too?” you ask. Then you’d both be exhausted. Relationships work best when two people treat each other with mutual respect and kindness. You shouldn’t have your needs elevated above his. You should be with someone that cares about meeting most of your needs. Someone who you’ll love so much that meeting his most of his needs will be like breathing.
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