Opinion: The Realization That Most Guys Are The Same Will Radically Improve Your Dating Life

If you’re a single girl trying to navigate the dating scene, you’ve probably been hit with the old “I’m not like most guys” BS more times than you can remember. Our downfall as women is that we believe this lie over and over again, placing every new guy we date on an imaginary pedestal. Once we realize that most dudes are actually identical, it makes things a whole lot easier.

  1. Two heads, one body. When it comes to dating, the penis calls the shots for most guys. Since attraction is the first stage for them in the lengthy process of falling in love, the only real goal during that first interaction is to get in your pants. Of course, this should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis and context of the situation should be considered, but it’s a lot easier to turn down the annoyingly attractive d-bags when you drill this fact into your brain. He doesn’t want to get to know you, he wants to get to know your boobs. There’s a big difference.
  2. His priorities are in order, you’re just not one of them. Let’s say you do make it past the initial attraction phase and now you’re sorta kinda but not really dating this guy. You set yourself up for failure the moment you expect anything at all from him, at least in the beginning stages. Guys and girls are programmed to operate at different speeds, with guys lagging behind most of the time. Although you may be ready to jump the gun, he’s probably worried about basically anything else that isn’t you. At this point, his dirty laundry takes priority over any time spent with you. Of course, if he’s a keeper, you’ll eventually move up the totem pole. Until then, stop stressing about the next time he’s going to contact you and make good use of that Tinder profile, girl.
  3. Until you DTR, all other girls are fair game. If someone is making him an offer he can’t refuse, he’s probably not going to say no. PIt’s best to come to terms with this as soon as possible so you don’t pop off the moment you catch wind of his sexcapades. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, he just likes his freedom more. Until you both decide that this is a full-fledged commitment, he has the authority to do what he wants, as do you. Keep your cool, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and slip on your tightest dress. He’s not the only one reaping the advantages of the single life.
  4. Generally speaking, their heads lead over their hearts. That doesn’t mean they’re entirely indifferent, but there’s definitely an emotional inequality between men and women. This is probably due to a lifetime of social conditioning deterring guys from showing any form of weakness. While girls usually look at the big picture and take others’ feelings into consideration, men don’t always follow this model. While it may be your first instinct to wear your heart on your sleeve, the guy your crushing on will probably need a little more time to be able to express himself. When you stop forcing the process and let feelings flow on their own, you’ll notice that your stress level decreases by a thousand percent.
  5. They’re rarely “ready for a relationship.” As soon as you start talking to a guy, expect this sentence to roll directly off his tongue. In the bigger scheme of things, this is actually OK since wanting to be with you just after meeting you would be a red flag. However, a lot of guys make it a point to shove this statement down your throat from the very beginning to ensure you have no expectations. Be cool and let this ride out. If he’s giving you the bare minimum, give exactly that in return. In these situations, it’s best to let it flow and see what happens.
  6. Their friends tend to have a say in everything. It’s of no shock that a lot of men are influenced by pretty much everything that their friends say or do. If most of his crew is single, you can pretty much bet he’s going to want to be single too. If his buddies are in his ear about staying out with them instead of hanging out with you, there’s no doubt that he’s going for it. His boys come first and foremost along with all of their opinions and lifestyles. Until you’re officially his girlfriend, there’s no use in trying to sway his outlook because you’ll lose every damn time.
  7. Repeat after me: maturity isn’t the same as character. It’s true that boys mature a lot slower than girls, but it’s crucial to not get a man’s maturity confused with his character. If he’s treating you like crap, it’s not because he’s immature, it’s because he lacks a moral compass. Some men will pull the immaturity card when they’ve been busted for doing something questionable. The quicker you learn not to feed into this, the easier it is to sniff out the BS and call it quits before his bad behavior escalates.
  8. Games don’t always stay on the playing field. Most guys like sports, which means most guys like games—on and off the field. Playing hard to get might sound like an archaic tactic and in some ways, it can actually be counterproductive. But when push comes to shove, most men want a little bit of a challenge, so don’t always make yourself too available. Dating is one big game in itself, which can be extremely frustrating. Once you learn that your own life and plans are so much cooler than dropping everything for a guy who’s only a tiny bit interested, you start building more confidence in yourself and that will radiate outward. If someone wants to be with you bad enough, they’ll understand if you have a prior engagement.