There’s still a definite stigma associated with putting out on the first date, and to be honest, I kind of don’t get it. Yes, it’s a serious thing to a lot of people, and if you’re someone who doesn’t like to sleep with people you don’t have an emotional connection to, then yes, first date sex isn’t for you. However, some of us are a little more chill about sex on the first date and frankly, I think it’s a great idea. Here’s why:
You know what you’re getting.
I say a lot that sex matters… and that’s because it does! I’m a proponent of knowing what you’re getting before you buy it, so I say if you like it, take it for a spin. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t like the way it rides. As long as you’re using your head and using protection, why not?
It can be done in the right way.
Sex on the first date DOES NOT need to be sleazy. If you act like a lady during dinner and don’t give him the hooker vibe, then you can get down without being treated like you were paid for. As long as you’re in control and making the decisions you want to make, there’s nothing wrong with whatever you want to do.
It could save you a lot of trouble.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you waited a while to have sex and then when you finally did sleep together, it was perpetually awful and ruined your relationship? Yeah… I think that says it all. Sometimes it’s better to know now rather than later.
It changes the sexual tension.
You know how once you have ice cream for the first time as a kid, you want it for the rest of your life? Sex on the first date can bring that kind of anticipatory sexual tension to your new relationship, which is a lot of fun, if you ask me.
It’s your life.
So if you want to do the nasty on day one, then do it! You only get one life, so live it the way you want. Sometimes sex without ties is exactly what you need to relieve tension and get your rocks off without having to deal with the heavier relationship stuff.
No one needs to know.
If you’re worried that your friends will say you’re promiscuous or your sister will judge you, then don’t say anything. No one needs to know what your do in your most private life, seriously. If this is something that seriously concerns you and keeps you from doing what you want (and screw judgmental people for making you feel that way), then keep it a secret between you and your new hottie.
If he’s a jerk, he’ll be a jerk whether you do the deed now or in two weeks.
Honestly, if he’s only out to get laid, he’s going to ditch you whether you do it now or later. I definitely don’t believe all men are like this, but I know plenty are. You can’t avoid them, so you might as well sniff them out as early as possible. At least you’re less likely to fall for him after only one date, right?
A smart man won’t judge you for it, he’ll be flattered.
Guys who aren’t just for some play won’t judge you for sleeping with him if it happens naturally because you have amazing, undeniable chemistry. In fact, he’ll probably be flattered that you dig him enough to hook up with him already.
It’s really not a big deal.
Sex is only a big deal if you make it one, so be cool and he will too. Don’t get me wrong, sex matters and it’s important, but the actual act of getting naked and having some fun is something we rarely think twice about in the moment. There’s a reason for this, and it isn’t because we’re inherently stupid. It’s because we like it. Duh!
Who decided it was taboo anyway?
Sex is so normal! More people than not have hookups, one-night stands, and get down on the first date. Everyone is just so damn judgmental that people don’t tell one another that they’re doing it. If you really think about how many of your friends have drunkenly spilled these details, or your exes told you about flings their male friends were having, I bet you’ll think about this differently.
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