Opinion: If You Wouldn’t Let Your Partner Go Through Your Phone, It’s Not A Real Relationship

It used to be that taking your relationship to the next level meant meeting your partner’s parents or changing your relationship status on Facebook. These days, there’s a new rite of passage: the moment you exchange phone passwords. After all, if you don’t trust him to see what’s on your phone, your relationship shouldn’t really count as “official.” 

  1. It shows a total lack of trust in your partner. If you can depend on him, you should be able to have faith that he’s not going to spill any of your secrets or misuse any of the information he may stumble across.
  2. It makes it seem like you have something to hide. Unless you have incriminating evidence stored away on your phone, there really isn’t any reason to be guarded about letting your partner go through it.
  3. It’ll prevent you from learning a lot about each other. For better or worse, you can learn a lot about a person by how they use their phone. Are they a gamer? A selfie addict? A serial non-responder? Looking through someone else’s phone can be a fun way to understand them better.
  4. It makes your partner worry that you’re keeping your options open on dating sites. Everybody’s worst nightmare is discovering that their partner is still maintaining an active profile on Tinder. If you’re cool about your partner looking through your phone, you can ease their fears.
  5. If you’re unable to let go of an ex, your partner deserves to know. This is one of the biggest reasons people hesitate: they currently keep in touch with an ex in a way that is totally innocent, but they still feel weird about their current partner finding out. If it really is innocent, though, it shouldn’t be a big deal to open up.
  6. It’s totally fair that your partner wants to know who you’re talking to. Imagine if every single time you mentioned you were going out and your partner asked where you were going and who you were going with, you told them it was none of their business and refused to answer. They’d probably get kind of pissed. That’s how they feel when you’re overly protective about what you’re doing on your phone.
  7. There’s no place for secrets in a real relationship. It just leads to things that are worse, like evasive behavior and lies. When you make a move like letting them go through your phone, it’s an insurance policy against all of that.
  8. In a long-term relationship, everything is going to come out eventually anyway. Let’s face it: in today’s modern world, it’s almost impossible to keep a secret. You might as well be the one to let your partner in on it.
Jessica Levy is a freelance blogger and content writer. She’s also a politics junkie, a fledgling foodie, and a frequent traveler. She has lived in Morocco, Israel, India, and Barbados, and never wants to be cold again. Follow her on Twitter!