Opposites May Attract, But Can That Kind Of Love Endure?

There are a lot of old-fashioned ideas about love that don’t hold up too well now that it’s 2015. One of them is the super popular belief that opposites attract. When you really think about it, though, that advice makes zero sense. We’re creatures of habit and we don’t always love being pulled out of comfort zone, which is what happens when you date someone who is the total opposite of everything you are and all that you stand for. Read on to find out why opposites don’t actually attract and you’ll be much better off finding someone who’s a perfect match.

  1. You’ll have more fun together. If you’re a free-spirit who loves choosing a restaurant last-minute and your BF gets a rash not having it all planned out in his calendar, that’s only going to result in stress for both of you. If you’re a girl who loves sports and going to games is a huge part of your life, you need someone who can share that with you. Of course, not every couple will have the exact same interests – your boyfriend probably isn’t going to watch The Real Housewives, and that’s cool – but you should have some major interests and hobbies in common.
  2. You won’t fight about the Big Things in Life. Think how amazing and drama-free your relationship will be if you find someone who agrees with you on the bigger aspects of sharing a life together, from marriage to moving in together to having kids to the best way to load the dishwasher (it’s amazing how many couples fight about this). But of course, you’ll still fight about your messy apartment if you cohabitate. That’s just a fact.
  3. Conflicting schedules can make or break a relationship. Let’s say you work a typical 9-to-5 work week with weekends off. Your new boyfriend works evenings and weekends. Well, when are you supposed to see him? Timing is everything when it comes to new love, and if you’re operating on a completely opposite timetable than someone, it’s not going to be a love connection.
  4. You and your interests need to be respected. I can’t even name how many times I’ve gone on a first date and been laughed at for admitting how much I listen to Taylor Swift. Besides the fact that she’s a mega star so this shouldn’t be confusing or funny, it’s so rude to make fun of someone for what they like. If you’re a fellow pop culture addict or someone who needs to see every single new documentary or a massive follower of politics, you need someone who gets it.
  5. You need interesting conversation. Not to sound judgy, but if you’re a bookworm, it’s going to be hard for you to talk to someone who hasn’t cracked the cover of a book in ages. A relationship lives or dies by daily conversation and if someone is your polar opposite, how are you ever going to find topics to discuss?
  6. You should agree on political and religious subjects. Feminism, gay rights, your liberal POV – you can’t sustain a proper relationship without being in agreement about these very big things. Even if you avoid big conversations around more controversial topics, his differing opinions will likely come up in more subtle (but still infuriating) ways somewhere down the line.
  7. Being with someone who likes the same stuff isn’t boring. Think about how inspired and amped-up you feel when gushing over the latest episode of your fave TV show, or talking about your upcoming travel plans with a fellow adventurous spirit. People who believe that opposites attract think that it’s super dull to date someone similar to you, but that’s not the case. It can actually be more interesting.
  8. Not wanting to date your opposite doesn’t make you picky. Another argument for broadening your horizons and dating against type is that you’ll write people off before you get to know them. But dating people with whom you have lots in common with isn’t being picky, it’s being realistic. You want to make sure that you’ll get along.
  9. You’ve suffered through enough silent first dates. Your worst dates were definitely the ones where you had nothing to say and the person sitting across the table form you didn’t have many words, either. That’s because you were so poorly matched and so different from each other that it was just never going to work out. And that’s okay.
  10. The cutest couples seem like one person. It’s just true. Remember the picture of Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears in matching denim? That’s still a major relationship goal — even if they’re long past broken up. You must know at least one couple in your life who are perfectly matched – they love the same movies, they share the same sense of humor, they enjoy the same activities. If it works for them, why not you?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.