Outercourse Is The New Intercourse But So Much Better

You might love foreplay, but have you ever felt like it doesn’t last long enough? A Glamour survey of 1,000 women found that for 23 percent of us, foreplay typically lasts for less than five minutes. Yikes! To deal with the problem, let’s scrap foreplay and choose outercourse instead. Here’s why it can do wonders for your sexual pleasure and relationship.

  1. It’s all about the pleasure. During foreplay, your partner might be rushing through a bit of oral and fingering to get to the penetrative sex part. But with outercourse, the emphasis is placed entirely on the foreplay side of things. That’s the extent of your sexual pleasure! It sounds like you’re missing out but you’re actually gaining more by side-stepping penetration.
  2. It doesn’t lead to anything. Outercourse is about getting your sexual pleasure without penetration at all, so while you and your partner are pleasuring each other, you’re living in the moment for a change. It’s liberating!
  3. It focuses on the journey. With outercourse, the journey becomes the destination so you can relax and really enjoy what’s going on without thinking of what you need to do next or how you’ll orgasm. When you remove that pressure, that’s when you can really intensify your pleasure. Big Os ahead…
  4. The clit is where it’s at. Clitoral stimulation is an example of outercourse, and let’s be real: it sometimes makes reaching climax much easier than penetrative sex, bearing in mind that penetration on its own doesn’t give most women orgasms.
  5. There are loads of other ways to have outercourse. It’s not just about the clit, though. You can have many different types of outercourse, such as dry humping, fingering each other, giving each other oral, having a sensual massage, and more. Outercourse is basically anything that doesn’t involve penetration.
  6. It forces you to shake up your idea of sex. We’ve been led to believe that foreplay is just a warm up to sex. Screw that. If we change our perceptions of foreplay and make it something in and of its own, it can totally change how we view sex and make it more satisfying.
  7. Sex isn’t just about the vagina. Too much focus is placed on the vagina during sex. By taking penetration off the table, you can explore much more of your body and find pleasure in new and different ways.
  8. You can really bond with your partner. Penetrative sex can make you feel emotionally closer to your partner, but outercourse can take that bond to another level. You learn about each other’s bodies in freshly intimate ways and find ways to pleasure each other that you might not have thought about before. It’s a sexual awakening.
  9. It spices up your long-term relationship. No matter how many sexual positions you and your partner try (reverse cowgirl, anyone?), you can’t always prevent sex becoming a little boring in an LTR. Outercourse gives you new ways to spice up your bedroom antics.
  10. You experience different types of orgasms. The G-spot orgasm is great and all, but sometimes it feels a little overrated. With outercourse, you can have loads of other orgasms, like the clitoral orgasm, nipplegasm, and even a skin orgasm. This is when something gives you chills or goose flesh. Technically, skingasms are actually called frissons and they’re said to be caused by listening to music, but you can definitely experience a type of skingasm during outercourse because you’re being touched and fondled in a new way that’s sure to be thrilling.
  11. It weeds out the selfish lovers. You know the guy who takes you home and just wants to rush through foreplay so that he can have sex? He doesn’t realize that it takes you longer to get into the mood and reach climax because he’s a selfish AF lover. By suggesting outercourse instead of intercourse, you might be able to eliminate such guys. If they’re not into being an “outie,” they’re not really into you at all. They can GTFO!
  12. It can make regular sex better. After having outercourse with your partner, you’re sure to enjoy penetrative sex much more in future. You’re likely to be emotionally closer to your partner after outercourse, which will intensify your orgasms. And, by taking the time to explore and expand on each other’s pleasure hotspots during outercourse, you’ll have more explosive sex in future because you know each other more intimately.
  13. It keeps you “on” when you’re apart. Outercourse can be a great way to experience sex when you and your partner are in different places. All you need is your laptop and video chat and you can enjoy outercourse together. It’ll feel like you’re in the same room.
  14. Remember, it’s not a protection against STIs. Don’t choose outercourse because you want to prevent STIs from penetrative sex, though – you can still get STIs from getting up close and personal with your partner during outercourse, such as through oral stimulation or skin-to-skin contact with his privates. Therefore, you should always protect yourself with condoms so that you stay safe and nothing gets in the way of your sexual pleasure.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.