Why Owning Your Flaws Makes You A Lot More Lovable

Why Owning Your Flaws Makes You A Lot More Lovable ©iStock/DeanDrobot

Sometimes we make the mistake of assuming that we need to be perfect to be lovable, which sets us up for disaster. No one is perfect, and anyway, our imperfections are what make us unique. Here’s why owning your flaws makes you a lot more lovable than pretending to be perfect does:

  1. It makes other people more comfortable. It’s not your job to make sure that other people aren’t intimidated by you, but when you pretend to be perfect, it can put up a wall and make you seem unapproachable and unrelatable.
  2. People can get to know the real you. We want people to like us for who we really are, but for that to happen, we have to learn how to let people get to know who we really are. You can’t be guarded and known deeply at the same time.
  3. People aren’t looking for perfect. We might want someone that is perfect for us, but that’s very different from wanting a perfect person. Imagine how hard it would be to really date a flawless guy. He would probably be a total nightmare.
  4. You come off as authentic. Nothing is more appealing than people who are totally authentic. That’s exactly why you might love certain people who you consider “weird” or “crazy,” because they’re comfortable with it and because of that, so are you.
  5. You’ve accepted yourself. When you accept yourself for who you are, then other people can, as well. It’s easy to spot a person who’s looking for validation all the time and it can be a turn-off. Knowing you’re flawed and moving forward shows people that you don’t need saving, because you’re doing it yourself.
  6. It has more longevity. How many romantic comedies include the storyline where someone pretends to have an accent or something to be more attractive, and then it blows up in their face because they were lying? Pretending to be something you’re not can only last so long, and it usually doesn’t end well.
  7. You give yourself the opportunity to grow. We have to have an awareness of our flaws to grow out of them, so admitting that they’re there puts you a lot further on the journey than it would if you are bottling things up or shoving them under the carpet.
  8. We just can’t control everything. Pretending to be perfect is a giant control trip and it isn’t realistic, so the more we can let go of trying to control our reality and instead allow the more good things will happen to us anyway, and that includes love.
  9. You know you’re loveable as you are. When you can own your flaws and know that you’re not a terrible person for being imperfect, then you know that you deserve love of all kinds and you’ll stop holding yourself back from giving and accepting it.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com