The Painfully Real AF Stages Of Being Single

‘Single’ doesn’t even come close to encompassing all the different stages of being on your own and looking for love. One day you might be thrilled to be rolling solo and the next you’re venting to anyone who will listen about how you have the worst luck when it comes to dating. At least you know that even if your current stage sucks, there’s probably a better one just around the corner.

  1. Newly and (Happily) Single. After you get out of a relationship that was dead in the water for longer than you’d like to admit, the freedom of being unattached is liberating. You can’t even imagine choosing to be in a serious relationship again any time soon, and it feels great.
  2. Ready to Get Back Out There. Just because you’re enjoying your newly minted status as a single woman doesn’t mean you can’t casually date and maybe get a little action here and there. Single women get to have sex with whoever and whenever they want — you want to get a little taste of that!
  3. Downloading the App of the Moment. Tinder still seems to be hanging on by a thread, so that’s the obvious first choice, but there are a few others like Bumble, Happn and Coffee Meets Bagel that you decide to try out, too. Might as well cast the net as far and wide as possible.
  4. The Prolonged Dry Spell. After giving the casual dating/sex thing a try for a little while, you’ll probably realize it’s not really for you. But you know a bunch of people who found a serious relationship on a dating app, so that could happen to you too, right? Turns out avoiding meeting people who don’t seem into the idea of a relationship is the equivalent of a self-imposed dry spell.
  5. The Convinced You’ll Be Forever Alone Phase. Luck just doesn’t seem to be on your side. Even if you do manage to meet a guy you’re interested in, he’ll most likely ghost on you between the second and third dates. The future of your love life doesn’t appear to be promising at this point.
  6. The Pep Talk And Rally. After a particularly depressing dateless weekend, you’ll probably vent to a good friend and they’ll give you the best pep talk in the history or all pep talks. You’re amazing and beautiful and you will find someone. You can’t lose hope. It’s time to gather up all your energy and give the search for love a real effort.
  7. In A Relationship… With Netflix. This is the stage where you realize none of the dates you’ve been on have been able to keep your attention, and devotion, the way Netflix has. A Saturday night in your pajamas with a glass of wine and the latest season of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt sounds a lot more appealing than going on a second date with a guy you were just lukewarm about.
  8. Tried Everything, Giving Up. You tried every app, website, and meet up group you could think of and went on a date with every single guy your social network presented you with. You’re still single — so that’s what actually trying gets you. Your only hope may be to fall into the street and get rescued by a dashing millionaire, a la Charlotte York, but for now you’re giving up.
  9. Deciding To Focus On Yourself. If you’re going to be single and have all this free time, you might as well enjoy it, right? You could always spend more time updating your wardrobe, or trying new work out classes, or making your way through your endlessly growing to-read list. There’s plenty to keep you occupied!
  10. The Light At The End Of The Tunnel. Just when you’re starting to settle into your single AF lifestyle, that’s when you’ll actually meet someone who shows serious potential. It may be cliche, but sometimes you really do find the right person when you stop looking — which is exactly what you’ll start annoyingly telling your single friends once you’re in a blissfully happy relationship.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.