Parents Can Now Hire Wrinkles The Clown To Scare Their Misbehaving Kids

While trying to scare your kids into being good probably isn’t a great parenting technique, Wrinkles the Clown exists purely for that reason. He’s the subject of a new documentary detailing the legend he’s become in his local community as well as revealing how parents, partners, and even friends have hired him to scare the life out of people their loved ones.

Wrinkles is a legend unto himself. He’s from Naples, Florida and if you mention his name there, everyone will know exactly who you’re talking about. Kids recite his name as an incantation the way we used to say “Bloody Mary” three times in the mirror and basically everyone thinks he’s freaky as hell, especially because…

No one knows Wrinkles’ true identity. Because he’s only ever seen out in the world with his mask on, no one knows who’s underneath it. Wrinkles The Clown, the documentary on him, aims to uncover who he really is, but the closest the trailer gets us to finding out is by showing that he’s an old man with white hair who resorted to being a scary clown because being a funny one wasn’t getting him anywhere.

How can you not be terrified of him? As The Washington Post describes Wrinkles, his “real face remains hidden beneath a distinctive mask with large black eye holes and receding white hair. He favors a polka dot onesie with black rubber gloves and he’s rarely seen without a bundle of colorful balloons in one hand. A slight paunch gives him the unnerving appearance of a menacing, man-size baby who lurks in sewers and children’s closets.” Talk about a recipe for nightmares!

Want to rent him? Have a couple hundred dollars handy. Wrinkles will come by to scare your friend, your partner, or even your kid. Recently, he was hired by the parents of a 12-year-old who just wouldn’t behave. “He was scared of clowns and I showed up across the street from him at the bus stop and he just started crying in front of his friends and ran home,” Wrinkles told The Washington Post. “His mother called back a few days later and said ‘Thank you!’ Now when he acts bad, she just has to ask him: ‘Do you want Wrinkles to come back?'”

So who is Wrinkles, really? He won’t say, but he did tell The Post that he’s a “65-year-old Rhode Island transplant and military veteran who worked various jobs throughout his career before retiring a few years ago.” He moved to Florida after getting divorced about five years ago to get away from the cold weather and to “settle into a more relaxed life.” Glad he’s relaxed!!

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