You might think your boyfriend’s a great person, but are you sure about that? If he’s doing any of these 13 things, he’s actually messing with your mental health. It’s time to take stock of your thoughts and feelings so you can get out of a toxic situation.
He’s closed up. He keeps secrets from you or he’s vague about his whereabouts. Over time, this inability to open himself up to you can mess with your sense of relationship security, which has nasty mental health side effects. These include feelings anxious, angry, or depressed just to name a few.
Your emotional landscape has changed. Lately, you’re feeling more vulnerable, tearful, or insecure than you usually do. Try to trace it back to where it comes from. You might find that your boyfriend is bringing you down instead of uplifting you. If he doesn’t seem to care about this, that’s another clue that he’s to blame.
He brings you back down to earth. When you’re excited about something, whether it’s a goal you want to achieve or an awesome makeup kit you won in a competition, your boyfriend always rains on your parade by rolling his eyes or making a nasty “joking” comment. What a good-mood basher! You don’t need that negativity in your life.
He’s micro-cheating on you. He might not be sleeping with someone else, but if he’s guilty of subtle micro-cheating behaviors such as confiding in another woman or flirting with other people, that will obviously have an effect on you. It can make you feel super stressed out and insecure.
You overwrite your feelings. You know you have a right to be angry when your boyfriend does something to hurt you, but it’s a red flag if he tries to make it seem like you’re too sensitive or unreasonable. You’re allowing his opinions to cloud your judgment, causing you to second-guess every thought and feeling you have. It can make you feel like you’re losing your mind!
You try to change. You feel the pressure to change how you feel, think, or behave so that you keep your boyfriend around. But change isn’t always a sign of progress. If you’re avoiding your real feelings or changing out of fear instead of self-love and self-growth, then that’s going to hurt you. If your boyfriend’s the one demanding these changes, then the only thing you need to change is him.
Your self-confidence has gone awol. You used to be a confident person. You knew your strengths and played to them. Since getting with your boyfriend, you’re a lot more self-conscious and insecure. This could be because he’s always trying to make you feel bad or he’s constantly negging you. He’s bad news for you, girl.
You’re feeling unwell. It’s not all in your head. If you’re experiencing more physical health problems lately such as colds, flu, headaches, or stomach cramps, it could be because the mental stress caused by your relationship is getting to you. Don’t forget that our thoughts and feelings directly influence the rest of our health. If those thoughts and feelings are unhealthy, they can make our bodies unwell.
You’re more panicked than usual. If you find yourself having panic attack symptoms more than you used to or they’ve only started now that you’re dating this guy, they’re a clear sign something’s wrong. Panic attacks can be a way for your inner self to tell you that you’ve gone off the right path and it’s time to focus on yourself.
You’re feeling lonely. There’s nothing worse than being with someone who makes you feel like you can’t turn to them for love, support, and kindness. You end up feeling neglected and less valuable than you really are. Who needs a relationship like that? The thing to remember is that you deserve to be loved.
You don’t talk to your friends. In the past, when you were feeling bad about something, you’d reach out to your trusted friends, but not anymore. Why is that? Could it be that since getting into a relationship with your boyfriend, you’ve pushed your loved ones away? This is unhealthy because you need your loved ones for your mental health and happiness.
You’ve become a monster. Sometimes, a sure sign that someone’s bad for your mental health is that being around them causes you to become the worst version of yourself. From being kind and gentle, you’ve become insulting and temperamental when you have to deal with the person. It’s a horrid feeling to experience this because it’s like you’re faced with your darkest side.
You feel guilty all the time. Are you sure your partner’s not making you feel guilty about things as an attempt to control you? For example, he might tell you that you should’ve done more to support him even though you were always there for him. This might make you try harder to appease him and feel guilty that you’re not good enough. He’s the one who’s not good enough even though he’s trying to make you feel worthless. Dump him so you don’t have to take on his issues. They’re not yours to carry.