My Partner Isn’t My Everything, And That’s Okay

My husband and I have been together for four years, married for one. In that time, we’ve been through some ups and downs. One of the problems I had early on with the relationship is that we didn’t have a lot in common. However, I realized pretty quickly that this was actually a positive rather than a negative. I maintained my own life and social circle, and it doesn’t always include my husband. Here are some other reasons it’s cool my partner doesn’t have to be attached to my hip.

I have a best friend, and it isn’t my husband

. My BFF and I have been friends for more than a decade. He and I met in high school and have been glued to each others’ sides since. However, my best friend isn’t my hubby. I have a lot of strong relationships with other people that aren’t my partner, including my BFF and his lovely wife. Without them, I would go crazy. My best friend wasn’t automatically replaced by my husband when we got married; I still need my BFF as much as ever.

I have friends that I share hobbies with, too

. My husband isn’t into all my hobbies. I wouldn’t want him to be. So when I have a hobby that my partner doesn’t share, like makeup or camping, I have other people I go do that stuff with. It gives us the time apart we need to make sure our relationship is happy and healthy.

My partner isn’t always around, and that’s okay

. He has work, friends, and his own hobbies. He can go out on a Friday night without me and that’s how it should be. I wouldn’t want to be attached at the hip to him every waking moment, and I don’t think he’d like that either. Being able to function without your other half within touching distance and being independent are two underrated skills in our society.

He’s totally got friends, family, and obligations that aren’t me, and that’s perfect

. We both have busy schedules and multiple jobs. We have friends and family and other people that need us. However busy we get, we still make time for each other. If he’s willing to give up on doing something he wants to do to spend time with me, it makes it incredibly special to me.

I love things he hates, and vice versa

. I love Thai food, and my husband hates it. He loves Mexican food, and I can’t stand it. As weird as it is, those little differences make us happier. It allows us to get some time away from each other, and that keeps me from going crazy. Wouldn’t it be creepy if you found someone, started dating them, and they suddenly loved every hobby and thing you loved? I’d rather date and marry and real person, not Julia Roberts from “The Runaway Bride”.

But we have a lot in common, too

. My hubby loves video games and nerd stuff just as much as I do. When we’re out doing nerdy things, usually we’re doing it together. I like having hobbies we can get together and discuss or do.

I don’t expect him to love all of my friends, either

. If most of your friends don’t like your SO, that’s usually a sign that you’re not with the right person. However, if your friends like them but just don’t have anything in common with them, that’s perfectly acceptable. Not all of my friends are besties with my hubby, and that’s totally cool with all of us. They still gave him the nod of approval!

It keeps things interesting

. My husband can literally talk for hours and hours about books that I didn’t care for, video games I’ve never played, or even places I’ve never been. Knowing he loves those things, however, makes them interesting to me. Having him talk with such passion about a subject I’m completely in the dark about is a really beautiful thing. I love to see him happy, and nothing makes him happier than a long speech about something he’s really into. And if we experienced everything together, we’d run out of things to talk about.

He means everything to me, but we still have our own lives

. When I promised to have and to hold on our wedding day, I really meant it. We’d be around for each other through good and bad. But I never promised I’d be around for everything. I’d rather have one meaningful hour with my husband a day than 24 hours of wishing one of us was somewhere else because we’re sick of each other. My partner is the love of my life, my friend, and my rock, but he’s not everything to me. I’m not everything to him. And that’s just perfect for both of us.

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