10 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Being Honest About Their Relationship History

You might think the person you’re dating is really wonderful and would never lie to you, but if they’re saying these 10 things, they’re not exactly being upfront about their relationship history.

  1. All their exes were “crazy.” Many of us have “crazy ex” stories to share, but it’s like one or two max. If your partner’s talking about their exes and saying or implying that they were all “crazy,” then you have to wonder if they might be the crazy or unreasonable one. Spoiler alert: they probably are.
  2. They’re on excellent terms with all their exes. On the other side of the spectrum is the person who’s so great that they’re still friends with every single one of their exes. They travel together, party together, and your partner is even a godparent to one of their ex’s kids. Um, impossible much? Even if they’re friends with their exes, can your partner honestly say that they don’t have one bad breakup or relationship in their past? They’re probably lying to try to seem like the perfect partner.
  3. They’re really quiet about their past. If they never talk about their exes and you’re well into your relationship, then that’s likely a red flag. What are they hiding? Surely there’s something to say? Anything?
  4. They compare you to their ex. They might say that you’re so much better than their ex was because you’re intelligent/pretty/whatever, but this isn’t a compliment. Why is your partner trying to pit you two against each other? If their ex is always on their mind, whether they’re speaking negatively or positively about them, then that’s a bad sign your S.O. is not being completely honest with you about how they feels about their ex.
  5. They’re always the victim. We’ve all been hurt by exes. Some of us have gone through hell because of nasty people we’ve dated, but there’s a difference between having had a bad experience and making it seem like you’ve been the target for all the toxic people in the world. If your partner is always talking about how they were 100%  loyal and everyone cheated on them, or they were such a supportive partner but they never got the love they deserved, then it’s time to roll your eyes ’cause they’re trying to gain sympathy from you.
  6. They’ve had loads of pseudo-relationships. Now, this person is a special kind of jerk. If they’re always talking about their exes in such a way that paints your partner as having been chased by all of them or stalked by some of them, they’re really trying to make it seem like they’re a huge catch. Or, by mentioning that so many people want them, they’re trying (and lying) to make you jealous.
  7. They’re great friends with their ex’s family. So, let me get this straight. Their ex treated them like crap but they’re still going around to visit their ex’s family and walk the dog? No, something’s not right with this picture. They’re obviously lying about something.
  8. They never talk about previous breakups. They might talk ad nauseam about their ex, but they conveniently skip over their breakup. What’s going on? Maybe your partner’s not the best person to break up with. Maybe they don’t even do breakups—they might be a serial ghoster. Whatever the case, they’re keeping mum for a reason.
  9. They can’t sit still. When you broach the subject of exes, your partner is quick to stand up and make some coffee or they decide it’s the perfect time to mop the kitchen floor. If they can’t sit and have a conversation with you, during which they actually make eye contact, then they’re being shifty about something.
  10. They never share their perspectives. When people talk to you about their previous relationships, it’s always a good sign if they can offer you some of their ex’s perspectives. So, for example, during their relationship when your partner had to move overseas for a few months, their ex was worried about their future. But someone who’s lying about their relationship history might speak as though they were the only one that mattered in those relationships. So, they’ll tell you why they had to go overseas and not even consider their ex’s point of view. That’s not just a bad sign about how they write over their exes, but it also sheds some not-so-flattering light on how they might treat you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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