I’ve grown a lot in the last couple years, and during that time, I’ve come to realize that having a boyfriend and being in a relationship aren’t the marks of a successful and happy life. In fact, the time I’ve spent single has been the most rewarding I’ve experienced. Here’s why I’ll be happy regardless of what happens for me in the romantic arena:
I’m surrounded by love already.
I’m extraordinarily lucky to be encircled by close friends and a very tight immediate family. I like the idea of romantic love, of course, but I am so blessed as it is. I’m happily and busily engaged in spending time with a large social network of wonderful people. It’s pretty amazing. I know a lot of others out there don’t have that, so I don’t take it for granted.
I’ve cultivated plenty of love for myself.
It’s taken a lot of work, but I finally love and value myself as a human being. I’ve found that growing my self-esteem has made it less necessary for me to look outside myself for love from a man. I no longer need love — I would like to have it, but I won’t die if I don’t. It’s incredibly gratifying not to feel desperate to find a relationship.
A partner would simply be an added bonus.
I love my life. I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for that I’m not stressed over whether I find a good guy or not. I’m happy enough that I won’t settle and I adore that security. Would I love to have the whole package? Of course, who wouldn’t? The important thing is that I am already content enough to wait for the right match to come along.
My life is amazing regardless.
I can honestly say that I’m finally in a place where I am okay with every element of my life. There’s nothing about my day-to-day existence that I dread. I was so bitter and angry and depressed for so long that I’m incredibly grateful to be here now. I’ve had a lot of relationships that made me more stressed out than happy anyway, to be frank. Until I find the right balance, I’m okay being exactly where I am.
I keep busy with my varied interests.
I’ve never understood how anyone is ever bored with their lives. I have so much to do and there’s never enough time! I haven’t even turned on my TV in over two months. I’d definitely figure out how to fill up spare moments if I had any. I hardly have any room for a relationship even when I want one. That makes it easy to be okay with going it alone.
I have my own goals to achieve.
I still have so far to go in my personal and professional lives that the last thing I care about focusing on right now is finding a partner. That’s simply a distraction from everything else, and I don’t need any more distracting! I do enough of that myself. What I need is to buckle down, focus, keep pushing and put in the work. I want to build a satisfying life. A man to love would just be the cherry on top.
I’m constantly growing, regardless of my relationship status.
I have committed myself to self-improvement and development. It’s not a temporary thing — it’s a lifelong journey. I’m not focused on man-hunting; I’m focused on living my best life and being my best self. It’s a struggle sometimes and it takes up a lot of my energy. I love dedicating more of myself TO myself and not expending a ton of effort on a relationship that isn’t working.
I’m no longer dependent on relationships to fulfill me.
I used to put so much pressure on my love life that I sucked all the fun out of it. I was always worried and insecure and stressed out. That’s no way to live. I’ve decided that if I’m going to have a relationship now, I want to do it the right way. I know that it’ll be tough, especially at first, because I have so many bad habits. I am glad to have a wonderful, gratifying life so that I can choose to be with someone if I want instead of using a man to fill some sad void in my soul.
I have the most amazing network of friends.
I’ve spent the last decade cultivating relationships with a beautiful group of people who I love and value above all else. I’m so grateful every day to have them in my life. I know that they aren’t to be taken for granted, ever, and I do my best to be a loyal and reliable support for them. I know they’ll always be there for me, so I’m not worried about ever ending up alone and lonely, no matter what happens in my love life.
I hope that the right person comes along, but if he doesn’t, I’ll be fine.
Sure, I’ll have moments of sadness and I do want that loving partnership for myself. I’m not a robot. On the other hand, I’ve found that the ability to be okay single or in a relationship is a great strength to have. Having a happy solo life is, in a lot of ways, actually easier for me than having a truly healthy partnership. I want to be with the right person who makes it as easy as possible and who makes the work worth it.
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