When my husband and I first got together, sex was frequent and mind-blowingly good. However, as our relationship progressed and we got more comfortable and our lives got busier, physical intimacy started to fall by the wayside. We wanted to keep our connection in the bedroom alive, so we decided to start scheduling sex at least once a week. It sounds weird but it’s worked wonders for us.
- It forces us to make time for each other regardless of what else is going on. Life gets hectic for all of us sometimes. Whether you’re working opposite schedules, the kids keep you up all night, or you’re just tired after another long day at the office, it’s way too easy to skip out on sex when you’re comfortable with your partner. By putting sex on the calendar, my husband and I are making a commitment to one another that we never back out of. It’s not that we feel forced to be intimate, but rather that we’re choosing to forget our busy lives for those few hours so that we can reconnect.
- It gives us something to look forward to. Our day is Thursday, and every week when it rolls around, it’s so nice to tease my husband or to get a flirty text from him when I’m at work that points out what day it is and builds anticipation for what’s to come. It brings a little fun into the mix and gives us something to look forward to, which is great after all these years together.
- We don’t limit ourselves to just one day if we want more. If we both had it our way, we would probably have sex a lot more than once a week, and sometimes we do. If it’s a Tuesday and we both want to make it happen, we do—we don’t stick to a rigid schedule, but rather use it as a guideline to ensure we have time for each other no matter how crazy life gets. A minimum of one time per week helps keep us satisfied when we don’t have time for extras.
- It’s our version of date night (though we do still leave the house sometimes). Some couples commit to weekly date nights, which is cool if you can afford a sitter or work schedules that allow you to do that. For us, regular nights out aren’t all that feasible. Scheduling time for sex gives us at least an hour (or more) where we can give each other the attention and affection that we might not get during the rest of the week.
- It reminds us of the things we love about each other. I love my husband for a lot of reasons, and to be frank, the sex is one of them. By taking that extra time to connect, it reminds me of that and a lot of the other things we can take for granted in our day to day activities.
- It adds a little bit of adventure to our lives. My friends tease me because they like to say that I plan my spontaneity, and it’s true—if I could plan out the next 25 years of my life down to the minute, I would. Committing to at least a once a week between the sheets with my husband gives me the flexibility to decide if we want it to be an afternoon quickie on my lunch break or a full-on passionate affair after dark.
- It helps me take care of myself. I’m the first to admit that when I get home from work, the first thing I do is change into sweats and focus on making dinner or taking care of the dogs. In the mornings, when I’m rushing to get ready and out the door, I might only shave up to my knees or not at all. Having scheduled sex to look forward to each week helps me to slow down a little and focus on myself, whether that means shaving above the knees or putting the curling iron to my hair. When you take the time to take care of yourself, you feel more confident, and that’s certainly helped enhance my overall mood.
- It keeps our focus where it should be. We’ve been scheduling sex for about a year now and it’s done nothing but bring us closer. It reminds us that not only are we important to each other as individuals but we’re important as partners and we don’t ever want to lose that focus. When we take the time to be truly together, we’re happier and can work together as a team much better.