It can be confusing to navigate relationships and stay on top of how you’re feeling all the time, especially when you’re past the fiery hot, and intoxicating early stages. Sometimes people grow bored in their relationships without even realizing it and it takes a while before they can admit it and start mending things or calling it quits. However, they still display certain actions and signs that reveal their true feelings. If you recognize any of these 15 subtle behaviors, it could suggest that the person exhibiting them is struggling to come to terms with relationship boredom.
1. They’d rather have fun on their own.
People in happy, thriving relationships want to spend time with their partners. They’ll find time, no matter how little, in their busy schedules for shared activities and date nights. So if someone prefers hanging with friends or family or doing things by themselves to being with their partner, it means the relationship no longer excites them for some reason.
2. They’re staying later and later at work.
Yeah, there are times when work may demand more of our free time, but that shouldn’t stop you from finding moments that you can share with loved ones. If someone is suddenly leaving earlier for work and keeping later hours with no end in sight or wiggle room for extracurriculars with their partner, that’s a bad sign. This behavior might be a response to an unfulfilling romantic life.
3. They become overly agreeable.
When someone in a relationship is experiencing feelings of resentment, unhappiness, or apathy that they’re not ready to confront, they might attempt to stall or make up for this by being overly agreeable. They’ll go along with everything their partner does, wants, or says to keep the peace. They’ll shove their true feelings to the side to avoid upsetting the fragile balance of the relationship.
4. They stop participating in shared interests.
Maybe you used to go to the gym together every evening or you have a standing agreement to watch certain shows together. But now, they’d rather go to the gym in the mornings without you and you can’t get them to sit with you to watch the new season of your favorite show. It’s not that they don’t have time, they just don’t seem to care about those hobbies and interests you both enjoyed anymore.
5. They start complaining about too many things.
People who are bored in their relationships but haven’t realized or admitted it might become chronic complainers. Being around their partner doesn’t thrill or satisfy them anymore, so they turn to complaining as an outlet for some of the angst and frustration they feel. It becomes the only way they can interact with their partner without having a deep conversation.
6. They’re constantly using their phone.
Every time you’re around them, they’re always intently scrolling through their phones. Yet when you’re away from them, they miss your calls and texts all the time and claim they were away from their phone. This may be because they’re using their phone as a crutch to avoid connecting with you or dealing with the issues in your relationship.
7. They’re irritable.
Constant irritability is another subtle behavior that takes root when people are bored in their relationships. Since it’s not being dealt with, the discontent and tension get to a point where it has to come out one way or another. So every little thing their partner does starts to annoy them. They get impatient and easily frustrated. They view every comment as an attack. They become overly critical and even outright mean.
8. They’re not as affectionate as they used to be.
When we send a sweet text, buy a preset, hold hands, kiss, or hug, we’re not just being romantic, we’re communicating with our partners. We’re reaffirming that we care and that we’re still invested in the relationship. So it makes sense that when people are bored in their relationships they can subconsciously become emotionally distant and less affectionate.
9. They’re constantly procrastinating.
They’re always able to turn in their work tasks and manage all other personal responsibilities in a timely fashion. But when it comes to their relationship, it’s never the right time and they’re either too busy or too tired to have a conversation, meet the parents, or whatever else. They’ll always try to put things off until later because they secretly hope that later will never come.
10. They stop talking about the future.
When you’re in a relationship that makes you happy, you’re excited about a future with your partner. You’ll have all these plans for things you want to do together and you won’t be able to stop talking about them. So when someone stops talking about the future, whether it’s moving in together, starting a family, or where they’d like to vacation next year, it could be a sign of relationship boredom.
11. Their communication slows down or degenerates.
Communication is usually the first to suffer when boredom rocks a relationship. A partner who used to text you all day and loved talking about everything under the sun now only texts back intermittently and has less and less to say. They may stop sharing their feelings and thoughts or engaging in conversations about meaningful or weighty subjects.
12. They’re reluctant to engage in arguments.
No relationship is without conflicts; it’s the willingness to work through issues that differentiates a healthy relationship from one on wobbly legs. If someone stops making an effort to resolve problems and instead resorts to stonewalling or sweeping them under the carpet, it speaks volumes about the state of the relationship.
13. They no longer initiate things.
People who are engaged and actively invested in a relationship will plan dates, suggest doing activities together, and check in on their partners without prompting. Conversely, bored people stop taking initiative and doing things to keep the fires burning. They stop making an effort because they’ve (subconsciously) checked out of the relationship.
14. They stop trying in the romance department.
Every day doesn’t have to be a honeymoon, but it’s important for people in a relationship to demonstrate the care and connection they feel towards each other through romantic gestures regularly. But when one partner has grown weary and disinterested, you may notice that the romance slows down or completely evaporates from their end. No more flowers, random declarations of love, thoughtful gifts, or any gifts for birthdays and anniversaries
15. They act emotionally distant even when they’re physically present.
It’s normal for people who are bored in relationships to emotionally distance themselves. Even though they’re not owning up to their issues yet, they can sense deep down that things might end soon and they could get hurt, so they put up emotional rails to protect themselves. They seem distracted and indifferent. They could be lying in your arms and it’d feel like they’re miles away.
