We’ve all had that gut feeling when something seems off about someone, right? Maybe you can’t quite put your finger on it, but something just isn’t adding up. While not everyone with these habits is necessarily being deceptive, these behaviors can definitely raise some eyebrows. Here’s what to watch for next time your internal radar starts pinging.
1. The Story Just Keeps Getting Longer
You know that friend who turns a simple “I was late to work” into a 20-minute saga? They’ll tell you about the traffic, what they were wearing, who they saw, what the weather was like—basically everything except their actual excuse. Here’s the thing: when people are telling the truth, they usually stick to the main points. But when someone’s stretching the truth, they tend to pile on random details. The funny part is, that all those extra details usually end up making things even more suspicious.
2. Their Body Language Goes Haywire
Watch someone who’s usually super chill suddenly start acting like they’ve had five espressos…that’s a red flag right there. Maybe they start playing with their phone like it’s the most fascinating thing ever, or they’re suddenly very interested in fixing their already-perfect hair. The real kicker is when someone who’s normally animated suddenly turns into a statue, or vice versa. It’s like their body is screaming what their mouth won’t say.
3. Everything Always Works Out Perfectly (Sure, Jan)
Listen, if someone’s telling you stories where everything always goes exactly according to plan, they’re probably selling you oceanfront property in Arizona too. Life is messy—we all know this. But these folks will tell you tales where every traffic light was green, everyone applauded, and their hair looked amazing the whole time. Where are the coffee spills? The awkward moments? The normal human stuff that happens to literally everyone? It’s like they’re living in a movie where they’re the main character, and everything’s been scripted for their success.
4. They’re the Kings and Queens of Question Ping-Pong
Ask them what time they got home, and they’ll bounce back with “Why do you want to know?” or “What time do you think I got home?” They’ll spin every question into a philosophical debate before you realize they never actually answered anything. Sometimes they’ll even throw in a compliment to distract you: “That’s such an insightful question, you’re really good at asking the right things. It reminds me of…” And suddenly you’re talking about something completely different.
5. Their Emotions Are Like a Badly Dubbed Movie
You know when you’re watching a foreign film and the expressions don’t match the words? That’s these folks in real life. They’ll be telling you about their grandmother’s funeral while grinning like they just won the lottery, or they’ll rage about a parking ticket like it’s the end of civilization. The emotions are there, but they’re all mixed up, like someone’s playing their feelings on shuffle. It’s basically their brain being too busy keeping track of their stories to remember what emotion goes where.
6. They’re Masters of the Half-Truth
These people are like those Instagram posts that only show the good angle—technically real, but definitely not the whole story. They’ll tell you about their amazing promotion but conveniently forget to mention it was at their uncle’s company. Or they’ll brag about their investment returns but leave out the part about their massive losses. It’s not exactly lying, but it’s truth with a Hollywood filter. They’ve got more spin than a laundromat.
7. Their Memory Is Suspiciously Selective
Isn’t it weird how they can remember exactly what everyone was wearing at a party three years ago, but totally forget about that money they borrowed last week? Their memory works like a self-serving Netflix algorithm—only showing what makes them look good. They’ve got crystal clear recall of their achievements but develop sudden amnesia when it comes to their mistakes. It’s like their brain has a “best hits only” policy.
8. Everything’s Always an Emergency
These folks treat every decision like they’re defusing a bomb with three seconds left on the timer. “You have to decide NOW!” or “This offer expires in the next five minutes!” is their favorite tune. They’re creating more artificial urgency than a Black Friday sale. And when you ask why something needs to be decided right this second, their explanations are about as clear as mud. They just need an answer before you have time to think too hard about it.
9. They’re Professional Promise-Makers
These folks hand out promises like they’re passing out flyers—freely and with zero commitment to follow through. They’ll promise you the moon, stars, and a flying car, all before breakfast. Everything’s “definitely happening next week” or “just about to come through.” Their future plans sound amazing, like a movie trailer for the best film ever—but somehow, the movie never actually comes out.
10. They’re Experts in Everything (Just Don’t Ask for Details)
One minute they’re explaining brain surgery, the next they’re an expert in cryptocurrency, and after lunch, they’re a master chef. They know just enough buzzwords to sound legit until you actually know something about the topic. Then it’s like watching someone try to fake their way through speaking a foreign language with just phrases from a tourist guidebook. Their expertise is about as deep as a puddle in the desert.
11. They Love Playing the “Everyone Does It” Game
Got caught in a lie? “Well, everyone lies sometimes!” Cheated on a test? “Everyone cheats a little!” They’re like kids who think pointing at others makes their own mess disappear. They’ll compare their major ethical failures to that time you took an extra candy from the break room. It’s like comparing a paper cut to a broken arm…not exactly in the same league.
12. They’re Quick to Flip the Anger Switch
Question their story and watch them go from zero to fury faster than a sports car. It’s their emergency eject button when they’re feeling cornered. The best part? Once the threat of being caught passes, they snap back to normal like nothing happened. It’s like watching someone try to use anger as a smoke bomb to make their escape.
13. They’re Professional Context Removers
These people could make Mother Teresa look bad by cropping a photo just right. They’re experts at showing you just enough of the picture to support their version of events. It’s like they’re running their life through a very selective Instagram filter. When you ask for the rest of the story, suddenly their phone died, the dog ate it, or Mercury is in retrograde.
14. They’ve Got Famous Friends You’ll Never Meet
According to them, they’re besties with everyone from local celebrities to tech billionaires. They’ve always got these amazing connections who could totally help you out—but weirdly, you can never meet them. These mystery friends are always “traveling” or “super busy right now.”
