People Who Lack Confidence Usually Have These 10 Limiting Beliefs

People Who Lack Confidence Usually Have These 10 Limiting Beliefs

Confidence, or the lack thereof, can shape our lives in profound ways. Ever wondered what’s holding you back? Well, you’re in for a real talk today because we’re going to explore those sneaky limiting beliefs that often lurk beneath the surface, robbing us of our confidence. So, let’s dive right in!

1. They think they’re not good enough.

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When everyone you see on social media and read about in magazines seems to be bossing it in life, recognizing their highest potential and literally turning everything to gold with their Midas touch, it’s easy to start to feel like you’re lacking in some way, especially if that doesn’t reflect your experience. People who lack self-confidence fall prey to this idea that if they can’t compete with these false realities, they’re not good enough in some way. It’s not true, but it’s hard to see that.

2. They Fear Rejection.

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The fear of rejection can be paralyzing, can’t it? It’s like we’re hardwired to avoid it at all costs, and people with low self-esteem literally live for this mission. Obviously, rejection and failure are a big part of life, and without them, we would never evolve into becoming more interesting, well-rounded people. It’s a massively limiting belief to think that you can avoid rejection — I mean you could, but it would literally only be possible if you stay in your house for the rest of your life and never do anything. Doesn’t seem all that inviting, does it?

3. They Struggle to Set Boundaries.

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According to Verywell Mind, people who have no self-confidence often find it challenging to set clear boundaries. It’s like they’re afraid of disappointing people or being perceived as demanding, but that’s ridiculous. Boundaries are a form of self-care, not selfishness, and anyone who would try to convince you. otherwise isn’t worthy of being in your life. End of story.

4. They Doubt Their Abilities.

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Ever felt like you’re just pretending to know what you’re doing? It’s like imposter syndrome on steroids. But guess what? You’ve got skills, talents, and experiences that make you capable. Everyone does, but people who lack confidence just can’t see it. Their limiting beliefs tell them that they’re not as good as such-and-such person and that they’re going to be exposed as the fraudster that they are any second now. It’s no way to live!

5. They Compare Themselves to Other People.

Shot of serious young woman looking through the window while drinking coffee on the sofa at home.

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Ah, the comparison game – it’s a confidence killer, isn’t it? Everyone plays it at some point or another, but it’s also important to realize that your journey is unique to you. You don’t have to follow a specific timeline or achieve milestones at particular intervals in order to be worthy and making progress. So what if Sam on TikTok made six figures last year and bought their third house? First of all, that’s probably a lie (hello, trust fund baby and/or total liar!), but second of all, you’re not them — you’re you, and that’s a blessing.

6. They’re terrified of failure.

serious woman looking straight ahead

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Failure is a four-letter word for a lot of people who lack confidence. It’s like a looming disaster waiting to happen, and it serves as a limiting belief that holds them back from ever taking chances, stepping out of their comfort zone, or really growing. As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained — you can never achieve greatness or even a base level of happiness if you’re stuck in a rut. Finding the courage to accept that sometimes things aren’t going to work out is a major accomplishment, and one we should all strive to achieve.

8. They Overthink Everything.

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Overthinking can be the bane of confidence, and those who lack it are usually plagued by this limiting belief. It’s like having a never-ending debate in your head… with yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in a loop of overanalyzing, but ultimately, that never uncovers any hidden meanings or reveals any special answers. In reality, it muddles issues and situations almost beyond recognition and keeps you frozen in place. If you’re too busy thinking, you can never act. Not ideal.

9. They Seek Constant Approval.

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According to Psych Central, seeking approval from others is a telltale sign of a lack of confidence. This desperate need for external validation can be crippling, especially since it’s literally impossible to please everyone all the time. The idea that you have to fit in or follow particular social norms in order to be valuable or popular in some way is ridiculous and holds so many people back from being their amazing authentic selves. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not!

10. They Avoid Taking Risks.

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Taking risks can be terrifying because it requires stepping into the unknown. Many people embrace this challenge and find it pretty cathartic, but those who lack confidence often avoid risks like the plague and hold the limiting belief that they’re better off right where they are. It’s unclear what exactly they think the consequences would be if they were to step out of their box, but they’re not willing to do it, much to their own detriment.

Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.