Why It’s Perfectly Okay To Not Feel Okay

Why It’s Perfectly Okay To Not Feel Okay ©iStock/max-kegfire

Feeling happy is wonderful, but feeling like you’re being forced to be happy doesn’t work. At some point, we become so obsessed with trying to be happy and put on a smile for everyone that we actually feel guilty when we don’t quite feel up to it. It’s true, you don’t have to be happy 24/7. It is okay to not feel okay.

Whether you’re just having a blah day/week/month or you’re dealing with depression, you’ll have days where you honestly don’t feel okay. You might just want to be alone or sit and cry it out. That’s alright. Don’t feel guilty. Just focus on taking care of yourself and you’ll end up happier as a result.

  1. Everyone feels that way sometimes. I’ve been there, so has everyone else. You’re not alone in feeling less than okay. It’s just like getting a cold. It’s going to happen and you can’t always prevent it. All you can do is take care of yourself until you get better.
  2. You need time to deal. A bad breakup, a death in the family, losing your job or just feeling lost in life are all great reasons to feel crappy. Guess what? Those feelings are a sign that you need to take a moment to deal with what’s going on. Quit trying to fake a smile and just deal with what’s going on in your life.
  3. Stressing about it only makes it worse. Focusing on what everyone else thinks about your glum mood only makes you feel even worse. Instead of trying to help yourself, you’re worried about putting on a good face. The people who really care aren’t going to mind if you’re not feeling your best sometimes. It also doesn’t help if you’re stressing yourself out about feeling better faster. You’ll feel better when you’re ready.
  4. It gives you time to reflect. Why do you feel this way? Is there something you could do to change it? Maybe there are a few demons in your closet to tackle? Take some time to reflect on how you got to this point. The less you hide it, the easier it is to find the root of the problem.
  5. It’s your life and your problems. Everyone’s life and problems are unique. So what if your best friend doesn’t feel the same way or hasn’t gone through the same struggles as you? She has her own issues to deal with. Worry about your own life and don’t compare yours to others.
  6. It makes happier moments even better. You know how they say you don’t appreciate something until it’s gone? Those not so okay moments make your happier times even better. I know it sounds so cliche, but it’s true.
  7. Sometimes hormones are a bitch. You might have the best day of your life and feel like your world’s falling apart the next. Why? Your hormones could be to blame and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Just accept it and know you’ll feel better soon.
  8. You shouldn’t have to pretend. Unless you’re meeting your boyfriend’s parents or trying to get along with coworkers to keep your job, you really shouldn’t have to pretend that you feel something you don’t. Honestly, you should never feel like you can’t be yourself. If others can’t accept that you’re not feeling alright at the moment, then that’s their problem, not yours.
  9. It helps you better understand when others are low. Have you ever thought a friend was being a drama queen because she seemed to feel blah for no reason? Having lows of your own sometimes helps you better understand where she’s coming from. Sometimes you know why you’re not feeling okay. Other times are a mystery.
  10. It gives your life a better balance. It’s like your own inner balance of good and evil. Our emotions are like a roller coaster. You’re going to have highs and lows. And just like a rollercoaster, you’ll end up balanced out in the end. Besides, your low times help you better understand your triggers (especially with depression and anxiety) and learn how to deal with bad situations better.
  11. It’s not your fault. I don’t care what anyone says, when you don’t feel okay, it’s NOT your fault. I used to think I was to blame somehow. I even had others blame me for ruining things just because I didn’t feel ultra perky when they wanted me to be. Guess what, crap happens. You can’t always control it and you definitely can’t control how it makes you feel.

Take a breath and remember that it is always okay to not feel okay. You’ll get through whatever’s going on in your life. Just take time for you and don’t listen to anyone who wants to blame, judge or make you pretend.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.