Catching feelings for someone can be equally exciting and scary. You get the warm fuzzy butterflies when you daydream about them, but then there are also so many what-ifs involved. You can really think yourself into a complete mental tornado trying to sort it all out. Here are nine straightforward ways to clear up the confusion and determine once and for all.
- They’re flaky and vague about dates. Someone who’s truly into you will want to see and spend time with you. They’re going to go out of their way to find chances to “coincidentally” bump into you, be around you, and get to talk to you. Fitting into your schedule and getting an opportunity to impress you will be a priority. Otherwise, they’re either generally lazy or are likely entertaining multiple options of people they could spend their free time with and just have you in rotation or in mind for a backup.
- Communication is infrequent and superficial. This can be more evidence of someone whose entertaining multiple possibilities. If you find yourself stuck in an endless cycle of “good morning and goodnight beautiful” and “what’s up, how was your day” texts with not much else in between, this person is probably copying and pasting the same generic nothingness to more than one interest. If someone wants to get close to you, they’ll actually ask substantial questions and try to get to know you better. They’ll also look forward to hearing from you and not want to let hours go by before replying to texts or days go by between talking period. You’ll be on their mind and a “ding” from you will mean something.
- You’re only wanted once you’re taken. This is a power-play move and just part of a game. If someone wants you, they’ll try to take you off the market for themselves right away. Someone who drags their feet to claim you but huffs and puffs or despairs when you move onto someone else is just trying to be possessive of your kindness and attention but doesn’t really want to put in the work to be with you and maintain a proper relationship with you. If they didn’t speak up when they had the chance, let it go.
- The people closest to you aren’t treated with respect. You have to win the friends over if you want to stand a chance with someone. If the person you like doesn’t seem interested in who else is in your life, it isn’t a good sign that they’re trying to be a meaningful part of yours in a sincere and healthy way. Even worse is if they flat out disrespect your friends and family. They should consider these people stepping stones to get to you and tread carefully and cautiously around them.
- They don’t remember details about you. Not everyone has the best memory, but if someone really likes you, they’ll be paying attention. Little things like when you ordered no ice in your soda or took the pickles out of your sandwich will stand out and they’ll be conscious next time to keep these preferences in mind. Someone who doesn’t really care will reveal pretty quickly how insignificant your interests, quirks, and requests are. It will seem like they’re not even trying or listening.
- Your boundaries get stomped on. Someone who likes you will value you. It won’t be all about them and what they’re trying to get from you. When you share your goals and intentions, it will be important for them to line their actions up accordingly. Anything that comes off as one-sided or violating your set standards is an indicator of conflicting pursuits. You may want real and they might just want easy, convenient, and/or self-serving.
- You don’t have control. When someone isn’t sincere, you’ll be on their time. You’ll only have access to them on their schedule. They will have the final say on what the title of whatever you’re doing is. Things between you are never going to be mutually agreed upon. This is because they don’t care about doing anything together and are just taking your interest for granted.
- There is no effort to reciprocate. Equal effort isn’t even a thought to this person. They’re totally OK with taking and taking with no return for you. They’ll lowball anything they do for you and try to get away with as much disregard toward respecting you as possible. This type of person doesn’t like you back, they just like that you like them. They especially like what you’re willing to do for them because you like them.
- They continue to act the same. If someone likes you and you two are not together, they’re going to find ways to make it happen. Being complacent is a sign of comfort, so if the other party is lingering in inaction, that means they’re content with how things are. Someone who really likes you would be bothered by not being able to proudly claim you.