How Being A Pessimist Can Ruin A Perfect Relationship

How Being A Pessimist Can Ruin A Perfect Relationship ©iStock/Oinegue

Optimists appreciate everything they have, even during their darkest days. Pessimists focus on the downside of life, even on their best days. That’s why you could actually ruin your relationship by being too negative. After all, no one wants to date a downer.

  1. You’ll make unfair accusations. If you always assume the worst, you’re going to get into unnecessary fights with your partner. If you curse him out before you give him the chance to explain himself, then you’re never going to last.
  2. You won’t plan out your future. You won’t want to talk about marriage and children with your man, because you won’t want to get your hopes up. Of course, if you never plan out your future, then you’ll never figure out if you two are on the same page. Even if you two could’ve had a successful future together, you’re ruining your chances by being pessimistic.
  3. You’ll make him think he’s a bad boyfriend. If your man tells you that you’re beautiful, but you won’t accept his compliments, he’ll start to wonder what he’s doing wrong. In his mind, making you happy is his job, so when he sees how upset you are with yourself, he’ll blame himself. That could cause a whole lot of misunderstandings.
  4. You’ll create problems when there aren’t any. If you overanalyze every single move he makes, you’re going to fabricate problems. You’ll start to see his harmless female friends as threats and will wonder why it took him ten minutes to text you back. If you’re pessimistic, you’ll end up worrying about things you have no reason to worry about.
  5. You won’t let yourself be happy. If you’re on an amazing date, but “know” that something is bound to destroy it, then you’re going to end up ruining your own fun. That’s no way to live. If you’re constantly worried about the future, you’ll never enjoy the present.
  6. You’ll point out his flaws. When your man takes you on a special date, you won’t be jumping up and down about it. Instead, you’ll point out whatever flaws happen to be in his plan, like how long it’ll take to get to the location and how expensive it’ll be.
  7. You won’t show him how much you care. Pessimistic people usually see the worst in others. That’s why you might not thank your man as often as he deserves. You’ll be too focused on his negative traits to compliment him on his positive ones.
  8. You won’t try to fix your relationship. When he wants to talk, you’ll assume he’s going to dump you. Whenever you have a fight, you’ll assume he’s going to kick you out. You expect the worst, so you never try to work things out with him. You just brace yourself for the breakup that you assume is coming.
  9. You’ll be overly suspicious of him. When he laughs at his phone, you’ll want to know exactly what caused the reaction. Every little thing he does will make you suspicious, because you expect the worst from people. Of course, if you want a relationship to last, you need to believe that your man isn’t like the rest.
  10. You’ll create drama. Men hate drama. If you turn every single situation into something worth complaining about, he won’t want to keep listening to you. If you’re unhappy all the time, your sadness will rub off on him.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.