Phrases Emotionally Intelligent People Use To Instantly Bond With Someone

Phrases Emotionally Intelligent People Use To Instantly Bond With Someone

Emotionally intelligent people have mastered the art of using certain phrases—ones that open doors to deeper connections, create safe spaces for vulnerability, and cultivate understanding. These simple yet powerful expressions can transform ordinary interactions into moments of genuine connection.

1. “I Totally Get That.”

couple feeling each other out at pub

When someone shares their thoughts or feelings, hearing “I totally get that” can feel like a warm hug. These four words create an immediate bridge between experiences, telling the other person they’re not alone in their thoughts, feelings, or reactions. This phrase validates without judgment and connects without overshadowing the speaker’s experience. It’s particularly powerful in moments when someone is feeling vulnerable or unsure about sharing their perspective. The timing of this phrase can make all the difference, especially when someone is opening up about a challenging situation or complex emotion.

The power of this expression lies not just in the words themselves, but in the message they convey: “Your feelings make sense to me.” This validation can be especially meaningful in professional settings where people might feel hesitant to express their true feelings. The key is to use this phrase authentically—only when you truly do understand—as its impact comes from its sincerity. It’s a way of acknowledging someone’s experience while creating a foundation for deeper conversation. The phrase works best when followed by attentive listening rather than immediately sharing your own similar experience.

2. “What’s Your Story?”

two female colleagues chatting in hallway

This simple yet powerful invitation does more than just break the ice—it hands someone the pen to write their own narrative. When you ask this question, you’re signaling that you see the other person as more than just their current role or circumstance. You’re acknowledging that they have a unique journey worth sharing, complete with twists, turns, and meaningful moments that have shaped who they are today. This phrase breaks down formal barriers and invites authentic sharing in a way that feels natural and unforced. Unlike more common icebreakers, it shows genuine interest in understanding someone’s full perspective and journey. Plus, people like talking about themselves, as Psychology Today notes. 

Unlike specific questions that might box someone into a corner, this phrase gives them the freedom to share what they find most significant about their journey. It creates a space where people feel comfortable revealing both their professional path and personal adventures. The question’s broad nature allows for various interpretations, letting the other person choose their comfort level of disclosure. This approach helps build rapport quickly while demonstrating emotional intelligence and genuine interest in others.

3. “Tell Me More.”

happy couple leaving yoga class

As Forbes points out, effective communication often involves encouraging others to elaborate.  These three words might seem simple, but they’re like a key that unlocks deeper layers of conversation and connection. When you say “Tell me more,” you’re doing more than just asking for additional information—you’re creating a place where the other person feels their thoughts and experiences are valued enough to warrant further exploration. This phrase shows genuine curiosity while avoiding the common pitfall of making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. It’s particularly effective in professional settings where people often feel rushed or unheard. The beauty of this phrase lies in its simplicity and the respect it conveys for the speaker’s perspective.

Instead of asking specific questions that might limit the response, “Tell me more” gives the other person complete freedom to expand on what they find most important or meaningful. It’s a gentle encouragement that says, “I’m here, I’m listening, and I want to understand your perspective fully.” The phrase works equally well in casual conversations and serious discussions, making it versatile for building connections. It demonstrates emotional intelligence by showing patience and genuine interest in others’ viewpoints. This approach helps create psychological safety, encouraging others to share more openly and honestly.

4. “I Appreciate You Sharing That.”

young couple walking in park

When someone opens up to you, acknowledging their vulnerability with “I appreciate you sharing that” creates a moment of connection and builds resilience, according to the APA. This phrase recognizes the courage it takes to be open and honest about one’s thoughts, feelings, or experiences. It’s particularly powerful because it validates not just what was shared, but the act of sharing itself. These words create a safe space that encourages continued openness and trust in the relationship. The timing of this phrase matters—it’s most impactful when someone has shared something personal or challenging.

The impact of these words extends beyond the immediate conversation, helping to build lasting bonds of trust and understanding. This phrase works especially well in professional settings where vulnerability isn’t always encouraged or valued. It’s a way of acknowledging someone’s willingness to be authentic and genuine in their communication. These words help create an environment where people feel safe being their authentic selves. Using this phrase demonstrates both emotional intelligence and interpersonal awareness.

5. “What Do You Think?”

millennial colleagues collaborating at work

Asking someone what they think shows respect for their perspective and invites them into a collaborative dialogue, as Harvard Business Review expands on. This question transforms a one-sided conversation into an exchange of ideas and viewpoints. It’s particularly meaningful because it demonstrates that you value the other person’s opinion and insights. The phrase works well in both casual conversations and professional discussions, creating space for diverse perspectives. When asked sincerely, these words can help someone feel more confident in expressing their thoughts and ideas.

The question is enhanced when you give people time to formulate and share their responses without interruption. It helps create an environment where all voices and viewpoints are welcomed and valued. The timing of this question is most powerful when asked after providing context or sharing your own thoughts first. These words demonstrate emotional intelligence by showing genuine interest in others’ perspectives. Watch as this helps you build stronger relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

6. “Wait, I Want To Know More About That.”

flirty couple at coffee shop

Showing eager interest in someone’s story with “Wait, I want to know more about that” creates an instant connection through genuine curiosity. This phrase signals that you find their perspective valuable and worth exploring in greater detail. It’s particularly meaningful when used to highlight aspects of their story that might otherwise be glossed over. These words create space for deeper sharing and more meaningful conversation. The timing of this phrase matters—it’s most effective when you catch something intriguing that deserves more attention. Using this expression shows emotional intelligence by demonstrating active engagement in the conversation.

The impact of these words is enhanced when followed by specific questions that help unpack the interesting point. This phrase works especially well in professional settings where people might feel pressure to keep things surface-level. It helps create an environment where detailed sharing and exploration are welcomed and valued. The expression becomes even more meaningful when coupled with genuine enthusiasm and curiosity. These words can transform a casual exchange into an opportunity for deeper understanding and connection.

7. “I Love That You Said That.”

Women having coffee and talking on the balcony

When you tell someone “I love that you said that,” you’re doing more than just agreeing—you’re celebrating their unique perspective. This phrase shows enthusiastic appreciation for their contribution to the conversation in a way that encourages further sharing. It’s particularly powerful when used to highlight thoughts or ideas that might otherwise go unnoticed or unappreciated. These words can help someone feel more confident in expressing their authentic thoughts and feelings.

The impact of this phrase is amplified when followed by specific details about why their comment resonated with you. This expression demonstrates emotional intelligence by showing genuine appreciation for others’ contributions to the conversation. It’s especially effective when someone shares something unexpected or thought-provoking. Using this phrase helps build stronger relationships based on genuine appreciation and understanding.

8.”I Can See Why You’d Feel That Way.”

two guys having a convo at a desk

When you validate someone’s emotions with “I can see why you’d feel that way,” you’re creating understanding and empathy. This phrase acknowledges that their feelings are reasonable and valid, even if others might react differently in the same situation. These words create a safe space for emotional expression without judgment or criticism. This shows emotional intelligence by recognizing and validating others’ emotional experiences.

This phrase works especially well in professional settings where people might feel pressure to hide their emotional responses. It helps create an environment where authentic emotional expression is accepted and understood. The expression becomes even more meaningful when coupled with attentive listening and genuine empathy. These words can transform a moment of emotional vulnerability into one of connection and understanding.

9. “That Sounds Challenging.”

Acknowledging difficulty with “that sounds challenging” shows empathy while validating the complexity of someone’s situation. This phrase demonstrates understanding without minimizing their experience or rushing to offer solutions. These words create room for someone to explore their challenges without feeling pressured to immediately find solutions. By recognizing the weight of others’ challenges, this expression shows emotional intelligence

This phrase works especially well in professional settings where people might feel pressure to downplay difficulties. It helps create an environment where it’s okay to acknowledge and discuss challenges openly. The expression becomes even more meaningful when coupled with a genuine interest in understanding their situation fully. These words can transform a difficult conversation into an opportunity for support and connection.

10. “You Make a Good Point.”

man and woman walking during hike

Acknowledging someone’s insight with “you make a good point” validates their contribution to the conversation in a meaningful way. This phrase shows that you’re actively listening and engaging with their ideas rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. Use it to highlight specific aspects of their argument or perspective that you find compelling. These words can help build someone’s confidence in expressing their views, especially in group settings. This is most effective when you can follow it with specific details about why you find their point valuable.

Using this expression demonstrates emotional intelligence by showing appreciation for others’ insights and perspectives. It helps create an environment where thoughtful contributions are recognized and valued. These words can transform a simple exchange into an opportunity for deeper discussion and understanding. This expression helps build stronger professional relationships based on mutual respect and appreciation.

11. “That Makes Perfect Sense.”

male and female friend chatting on steps

When you tell someone “That makes perfect sense,” you’re offering more than just agreement—you’re validating their entire thought process. This phrase acknowledges that their reasoning is sound and their conclusions are logical, even if others might see things differently. It’s a powerful way to show support for someone’s perspective without necessarily having to share the same opinion.  These words can help someone feel more confident in their decisions and thought processes, particularly when they’re feeling uncertain.

This validation becomes even more powerful when someone is sharing something they worry others might find unusual or questionable. It helps create a judgment-free zone where people feel safe expressing their authentic thoughts and feelings. It’s especially effective when followed by thoughtful questions that show genuine interest in understanding their viewpoint further. These words can transform a moment of vulnerability into one of connection and mutual understanding.

12. “I’ve Been There Too.”

two female friends having coffee
Sanja Radin/iStock

Sharing that you’ve been in someone’s shoes creates an instant bond. This helps fill the space between sympathy and empathy, showing that you truly understand their situation from personal experience. When delivered with sincerity, it can make someone feel less alone in their struggles or challenges. Be wise when you use it, and these words can transform a one-sided conversation into a mutual exchange of experiences and understanding.

However, the real power comes from how you follow this phrase with your own relevant experience, without overshadowing their story. It’s important to briefly share enough to show genuine understanding while keeping the focus on their current situation. Look at you creating a foundation for deeper connection and mutual support.

13. “How Can I Help?”

two men having a conversation at cafe

Offering help with this simple question shows both empathy and action-oriented support in one breath. It’s a phrase that moves beyond passive listening to active engagement, showing you’re willing to invest time and energy in supporting someone else. This question demonstrates emotional intelligence by recognizing that sometimes people need more than just a sympathetic ear. Plus, it allows the other person to define what help looks like to them.

These words create an environment for someone to express their needs without feeling like a burden. When asking this, it’s crucial to be prepared to follow through with whatever reasonable support is requested. It’s particularly effective when someone has shared a challenge or difficulty they’re facing.

14. “That’s So Interesting!”

two women having a conversation on park bench

When you genuinely express interest in what someone’s sharing, you create an instant connection that encourages deeper conversation. This phrase, when spoken with authentic enthusiasm, validates the other person’s thoughts and experiences in a way that makes them feel seen. The key is to use this expression specifically in response to details that truly capture your attention, rather than as a generic response. Showing genuine interest in others’ perspectives demonstrates emotional intelligence and creates space for meaningful dialogue.

This expression can help build bridges across different viewpoints and experiences, creating opportunities for mutual understanding. The phrase becomes even more powerful when coupled with non-verbal cues that show genuine engagement. These words can help someone feel more confident in sharing their unique perspectives and experiences.

Natasha is a seasoned lifestyle journalist and editor based in New York City. Originally from Sydney, during a a stellar two-decade career, she has reported on the latest lifestyle news and trends for major media brands including Elle and Grazia. Natasha now writes and directs content for Bolde Media, publishers of Bolde, Star Candy, Style Files, Psych Love and Earth Animals.