Are You Picky Enough? Your Willingness To Take Anything Could Be The Reason You’re Single

When it comes to love, you should be picky. The problem, though, is that many of us aren’t. Some women think that not being choosy when it comes to men might increase their chance of finding the right person, but the truth is that lowering your standards a lot can actually keep you single. If any of these sound like the reason you might have low expectations for men, don’t expect to be coupled up any time soon.

  1. You don’t really know what you want. You’re not picky because you don’t even know what kind of qualities you’d want in a man. If someone asked you to describe the perfect partner, you couldn’t do it. You don’t know what you want or don’t want, and that indecision is keeping you from finding a good partner.
  2. You’re too low maintenance. Yes, there is such a thing. You think being “not picky” is a good thing because it means you’re not demanding, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have needs. Everyone has emotional requirements, and if a man can’t give you what you want or need, then you need to be strong enough to walk away. You deserve a man who actually tries — you just have to pick one who’s willing to make an effort.
  3. You can’t see red flags. While a man’s bad habits might make some girls run in the other direction, you seem to see every man is flawless. But if you ever want to settle down with a good man, you’re going to have to open your damn eyes. Learn to be picky so you can spot the players before it’s too late.
  4. You have no gut instinct. Or at least, you refuse to listen to it. Either way, your inability to turn down a single man isn’t doing you any favors. You shouldn’t feel a spark with every man you meet. If something feels wrong or simply off, then listen to your woman’s intuition, because being picky may just be the best way to protect your heart.
  5. You don’t know how to weed the good from the bad. You have no sort of filtering system for your love life. There are good and bad men, but you don’t have a clue what the difference is. You need to be picky enough to weed out the men that treat you poorly and let in the men who know how to treat a woman right. At some point, you need to figure out what does and doesn’t constitute relationship material.
  6. You’re too nice for your own good. You want to give every guy a chance, and that’s honorable, but it’s also going to get you into trouble. The truth is that not every guy deserves a chance. Not every man you meet is going to be worthy of your love. So it’s nice that you’re open to making new friends, but you should be a little more selective when it comes to your love life.
  7. You like any man who likes you. It’s like you’re living by the motto that beggars can’t be choosers. You don’t know how to turn a man down. If he’s interested in you, you’re so flattered that you’re automatically interested in him regardless of whether or not he’s boyfriend material. Relationships take a hell of a lot more than attraction, but until you learn to be picky, you’ll always wonder why love isn’t enough.
  8. You don’t even know what constitutes a good man. You’re not picky, and that’s why you’ll put up with pretty much anything. But this means you’re going to be dragged through a lot of BS in the dating game. You need to figure out what makes a guy good so you can figure out what makes a guy bad.
  9. You’re ready to settle. Being “not picky” is often synonymous with accepting whatever you’re given. That might be okay when it comes to what’s for dinner but it’s not okay when it comes to the man who’s going to share your life. You deserve to find the man of your dreams, and you should be picky enough to not settle for anything less.
  10. You don’t know how to pick ‘em. You think that by not being picky you’re increasing the size of your dating pool, but you’re just filling it with men who aren’t good enough for you. You date men who treat you like crap, and you’re always left wondering why you got your heart broken. Until you learn to be pickier about the men you date, you’ll just get the same miserable results over and over again.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.