How Picky Is Too Picky? 10 Things That Shouldn’t Be Dealbreakers

How Picky Is Too Picky? 10 Things That Shouldn’t Be Dealbreakers ©iStock/valentinrussanov

We’re looking for the ultimate happiness, so we don’t want to settle for just anybody. At the same time, we know that it’s a good thing to be picky about certain qualities. However, if you’ve rejected a guy solely for one of these reasons, you might be just a little too picky.

  1. His body is imperfect. Sadly, we live in a world that values six pack abs over generosity of spirit, but that doesn’t mean you have to. If you have a connection with him and your life goals line up, give him a chance. In the search for forever, you have to remember that looks fade but personality and character last a lifetime.
  2. He’s in a temporary money crunch. The beauty and value of a person can’t be measured in dollars. This is evident if you take a look at some of the celebrities our world idolizes. If you’ve met a wonderful guy who’s in a temporary financial crisis and actively working to resolve it, give him a break. When he’s back on top, he’ll probably still be wonderful and he’ll think of you as the woman who stuck by him through the rough times.
  3. He’s still in school or building his career. Life can get a bit messy and uncertain when you’re still working on your dream career while also doing random jobs to keep the rent paid. He may not have a lot of time or money for expensive dates, but there are plenty of fun things you can do together on a budget. If you’re digging everything else about him, be there through the career uncertainties because they won’t last forever, but your love just might.
  4. He doesn’t have good fashion sense. Some guys need help dressing themselves. If you like everything else about him, see where it could go (and suggest a shopping trip). Style isn’t always inherent, but it can be taught.
  5. He doesn’t share every single one of your hobbies. It is important to share common hobbies, but the person you date doesn’t have to like every single thing you like. If you share at least a few common interests, it’s likely that you’ll both find new interests as you get to know each other better.
  6. He’s not close to his family. People who come from super close families don’t understand sometimes when they meet someone who’s distanced themselves from the mothership. There are a lot of valid reasons people can have for not being close to their folks, and it doesn’t mean they don’t value family or want one in the future.
  7. He has kids already (and he’s a good dad). Parents are a package deal when it comes to dating, and that can be intimidating for someone who’s used to being on a childfree schedule. As long as he’s a good dad, this shouldn’t be a red flag. In fact, if you want kids someday as well, it can be good practice.
  8. He’s divorced. People get divorced for all kinds of reasons. Maybe he got married too young and grew apart, or maybe his ex cheated on him. If you like him, don’t judge him by his past relationships; look to the future of this one.
  9. He can’t cook. Some people just don’t have a natural ability in the kitchen. For some, the ability to cook can’t even be taught, but those people do have credit cards and smartphones usually, so they can “make dinner” on pizza night or take out sushi night. Bonus: if you enjoy cooking, you’ll get to do it more often.
  10. He needs practice/lessons in bed. Sex is rarely perfect in a new relationship, but you can work out the kinks with time and lots of practice. If you like him enough to keep him around long-term, teach him how to please you instead of sidelining him.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.