I Played Hard To Get With A Guy I Really Liked & Got Dumped

Every dating book suggests playing hard to get if we want to get a guy to fall head over heels in love with us. Staying just a bit out of his reach seems like the only real way to win over a guy’s heart, but that can seriously backfire — and it definitely did on me. I tried every trick in the book on a guy I really liked because I thought it would make him go crazy for me. In the end, I actually ended up getting dumped.

  1. He Could Only Take So Much. There was only so much he could take as I continued to put him through the wringer with a bunch of dating games. At one point, he finally broke and threw in the towel. Initially, he went to great lengths to win me over, but once he felt like he wasn’t making any progress, he threw up the peace sign and moved on to someone else.
  2. I struggled to Keep Up the Act. I’m not naturally aloof, so I wasn’t able to keep up the charade of playing hard to get for too long. I slipped up many times by texting him back within five minutes instead of making him wait an hour and accepting a few last minute date invitations. Then I’d beat myself up for screwing up my entire plan, but my cover was already blown.
  3. He Saw Right Through the Games. He caught on to my games right away, and he knew I wasn’t as busy as I claimed to be. Once I had been exposed, he never said anything to let me know he was on to me, but I knew he was secretly judging me for resorting to tired dating games.
  4. I sent him some extremely wrong signals. I really liked this guy, so it made no sense why I would ignore him, cancel on him at the last minute, and take a few days just to return his phone calls. I was sending mixed signals and it only led to frustration for the both of us.
  5. I wasn’t being my authentic self. Putting up a front meant I wasn’t showing my true, authentic self, so how did I expect him to fall in love with me if I was hiding the real me? I was presenting some bizarrely inconsistent version of what I thought was the perfect woman, and it was a total disaster.
  6. I was exhausted from putting in so much effort. Seriously, there are so many dating rules out there, it’s hard to keep up with them all. Trying to remember if I should text or call him after a date and being the first to end phone calls even though I really want to keep the conversation going took way too much effort. Life would’ve been much easier if I had just done what felt right instead of playing games.
  7. I ended up hurting us both. I got a bit of satisfaction out of playing hard to get. I felt like I had the upper hand, and I was finally in control of my love life, but I never thought about how my games affected him. Playing hard to get with someone you really like can be hurtful and devastating to the person on the receiving end. I knew I was being a complete jerk, so I can’t really blame him for walking away — and that ended up hurting me too.
  8. I Questioned His True Intentions. Was he only addicted to the chase, and once he had me in his arms, the thrill would be over? At one point, I really started to question if he really liked me or if he liked the character I was portraying. I couldn’t determine his true intentions because I wasn’t being genuine with my actions.
  9. Love Isn’t a Game, but I didn’t realize that then. I was treating love like it was just a game. I could’ve had it all with this guy, but I completely blew it by acting so nonchalant and blasé. But love is something that should be cherished and nurtured, and I definitely took him for granted.
  10. I Knew I Would Have to Play the Game Forever. If our relationship had progressed, I knew I would have to keep up the hard to get act for the rest of our lives. It was my aloofness that kept him intrigued, and if I abruptly switched up my entire personality, it would’ve spelled doom for our relationship.
An avid internet surfer with a passion for writing.
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