Please Don’t Act Like You Like Me & Then Never Ask Me Out

I’ve been dating for a long ass time, so I’d like to think I know a thing or two by now about the process. However, there’s one thing that still completely baffles me and I’m sure I’m not alone. I’ll meet a guy who’s interested in me, we’ll spend time talking and getting to know each other, he’ll tell me he’d like to take me out sometime… but then he never actually does. Instead, he hangs around for a while longer and then disappears. WTF? What’s the point?

  1. It gets me hopeful for no reason. I take the time out of my life to entertain someone who I eventually grow to like and it makes me even more excited to finally get face time in with him. When it doesn’t happen and becomes clear as day it never will, it makes me feel like an idiot for those days I was excited to hear from him and for those cute little exchanges we had. The lead-up was all for nothing.
  2. It’s SO damn confusing. I’m constantly confused as to why guys do this so often. I get that maybe he lost interest, but how can you lose interest in someone you’ve never even taken the chance to meet in person like he said he wanted to? It especially sucks when the conversation has always been fresh and fun and suddenly, he slowly pulls out of your life as if entering it was a mistake. What the hell happened?
  3. It’s a form of ghosting and it sucks. We may not have actually dated, but it’s still a form of ghosting that totally blows. I get left with the unanswered questions and start wondering what it was about me that he didn’t like. When a person goes from excited to know you to a complete stranger again so quickly, it makes me wonder WTF the point was. It’s a completely unnecessary memory in my life.
  4. It leaves me with unanswered questions. Was it something I said? Was it a bad picture posted on my social media page? Was it my passion about being a writer? I’ll never know and the constant swirl of questions in my head leave me haunted.
  5. It’s a complete waste of my time. I’d rather be spared the glimmer of hope and the excitement I get when this phenomenon happens to me — it’s just pointless. These guys don’t just come into my life casually. They ask me about who I am. I share things about myself and we create a cute and budding flirtation with each other as people normally do when they’re about to start dating… but the dating never happens. Again, what’s the point?
  6. It’s an exhausting cycle to be put through. I feel like I’m stuck in this endless loop of morons. Whether I actually date a guy or start talking to one, it seems like there’s an expiration date automatically attached and it has the shelf life of a milk product. It seems like no one is willing to take an actual chance anymore or get to know someone well enough before they write them off completely. To make things worse, no one seems to have the decency of offering their honesty about why they suddenly lost interest.
  7. It’s sad that I’m actually numb to this BS. The sad fact is that as much as this behavior bothers me, I’m completely used to it. It doesn’t even faze me anymore. I should be excited about meeting a new guy. I should be excited about going on dates and getting to know someone new, but I’m not. I’m just so used to these BS and cowardly disappointments instead.
  8. It’s a weird relationship to have with someone. Do you know how strange it is to run into someone that you almost dated but never did? You dropped particles of your life and your personality on to this person and it was all for nothing — not even a friendship was formed. It was just a brief rest stop on the never-ending highway to find love.
  9. It makes me realize how rare genuine guys truly are. The more and more guys pull this crap on me, the more I appreciate those few and far between guys who really do step up to make a date happen. The guys that want to take you out as soon as possible and are seemingly eager to know you are worth taking a chance on because the opposite behavior is becoming all too commonplace.
  10. It builds my walls up even higher. Every time I go through this completely pointless encounter, it makes me a little more guarded with my heart and I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing. I want so badly to believe in real love but these situations give me even more reason to protect my heart further. I can only hold on to hope that eventually, the right guy won’t pull this nonsense on me. In the meantime, I’m sick of these guys who ask me out and don’t follow through.