Dealing with a colleague who constantly undermines your confidence can be draining and soul-destroying. So stand up for yourself to shift the dynamic and remind them that you’re not someone to be belittled. Here are 13 powerful phrases to shut down those confidence-killing comments and regain your power at work.
1. “I’m confident in my abilities.”
This simple but assertive response can quickly shift the dynamic when someone tries to belittle your work or make you doubt yourself. By stating that you’re confident in your abilities, you’re sending a clear message that you don’t need their approval. It’s polite but firm, signaling that their opinion won’t shake your belief in your skills.
Why it works: It sets a boundary without escalating the situation. You’re not inviting further discussion; you’re just making it clear that you know your worth.
2. “I don’t see it that way.”
This phrase is great for those moments when someone is subtly or not-so-subtly questioning your judgment or decisions. It’s polite to say, “That’s your opinion, but I disagree,” without turning it into an argument. You’re calmly asserting that you’re entitled to your perspective, which might be just as valid as theirs—if not more so.
Why it works: It invites a healthy debate but shuts down the idea that their perspective is the only correct one. You’re making it clear that you’re confident in your point of view.
3. “Let’s keep the feedback constructive.”
When a colleague’s comments feel more like criticism than helpful feedback, it’s time to draw a line. This phrase is a polite reminder that feedback should be beneficial, not destructive. You’re telling them that while you’re open to input, you expect it to be respectful and aimed at improving the situation, not tearing you down.
Why it works: It establishes that while you’re open to feedback, you’re not here to be anyone’s punching bag. It sets a professional tone and redirects the conversation toward something productive.
4. “That’s not how I measure success.”
When someone tries to undermine your accomplishments or suggests you haven’t achieved enough, this phrase can help you regain control of the conversation. Success looks different for everyone, and you don’t have to measure up to someone else’s standards. This statement shows that you’re confident in your definition of success and aren’t interested in competing with theirs.
Why it works: It deflects their judgment and reinforces that you define success on your terms. You’re not playing their game of comparison.
5. “I’d prefer to stay focused on the facts.”
When feedback starts to feel personal, or someone criticizes you rather than your work, it’s time to steer the conversation back to what matters—the facts. This phrase stops any emotional or unnecessary commentary and gets to the heart of the issue. It’s a way to keep the discussion professional and focused on what can be improved.
Why it works: It helps you stay calm and objective, showing that you’re more interested in solving the problem than getting caught up in drama.
6. “I’ve had great feedback from others on this.”
If someone is trying to make you second-guess your work, this is a great way to remind them—and yourself—that other people have valued your contributions. By mentioning the positive feedback you’ve received, you’re subtly pointing out that their opinion isn’t the only one that matters. It reinforces your confidence without being confrontational.
Why it works: It reminds them (and you) that others have recognized your strengths, making their negativity seem less relevant.
7. “I’ll take your opinion into consideration.”
Sometimes, the best way to shut down a negative comment is to acknowledge it without engaging. This phrase is a polite way to say, “I hear you,” while keeping the door open for you to ignore the advice if it’s not helpful. You’re being gracious, but you’re also maintaining control of how much influence their words will have on you.
Why it works: It allows you to stay polite while reserving the right to dismiss their input if it’s not constructive. You’re not feeding into their negativity.
8. “That’s your perspective; I’m comfortable with my decision.”
When someone questions your judgment or choices, this phrase is a confident way of standing your ground. It acknowledges that they have a different view but makes it clear that you’re happy with your chosen path. This statement is especially powerful because it’s calm and composed, showing that their critique does not rattle you.
Why it works: It shows that you respect their opinion, but it won’t sway you. You’re in charge of your decisions and comfortable with that.
9. “I’m happy to discuss solutions if you have constructive suggestions.”
This is an excellent phrase for when someone seems more focused on pointing out problems than actually helping you find solutions. By inviting them to offer constructive feedback, you’re turning the conversation into something productive. It puts their negativity into perspective if they don’t have any helpful ideas.
Why it works: It turns the focus back on them as part of the solution. If they don’t have anything constructive to offer, it exposes their critique for what it is—unhelpful.
10. “I prefer focusing on progress, not perfection.”
When someone is nitpicking or criticizing minor flaws, this phrase is a gentle reminder that progress is more important than perfection. It shows you’re focused on moving forward and growing rather than obsessing over every little mistake. It’s a subtle but firm way to stop someone from derailing your confidence over minor issues.
Why it works: It emphasizes being focused on the bigger picture and refusing to let perfectionism get in the way of progress.
11. “I’ve handled this before.”
When a colleague questions your ability to handle a task, this phrase serves as a reminder that you’ve succeeded in similar situations before and do it again. It’s a confident way to reinforce your experience and skills, clarifying that your doubts do not faze you.
Why it works: It draws on your past successes to boost your current confidence, subtly reminding them of your capability.
12. “I don’t let negativity affect my work.”
If someone consistently has a negative attitude, this phrase tells them their attitude won’t impact their performance. It’s a powerful statement of resilience, showing that you won’t let their comments throw you off course. This response is both assertive and positive, reinforcing your commitment to doing your best, regardless of their negativity.
Why it works: It clarifies that their attempts to undermine you won’t work. You’re in control of your mindset and performance.
13. “I’m a solution, not a problem person.”
When a colleague is focused on what’s wrong rather than how to fix it, this phrase can help steer the conversation more productively. It shows that you’re not interested in dwelling on issues—you’re looking for ways to move forward. This mindset shift is powerful, taking the energy away from negativity and channeling it into problem-solving.
Why it works: It shows that you’re solution-oriented and not interested in getting bogged down in complaints or criticism. You’re focused on progress.
