I Prefer Guys Who’ve Slept Around—They’re Better Boyfriends

Most people assume that guys who’ve had a lot of sexual partners are the players and douchebags of the world, but I’ve found them to be the exact opposite. Here’s why I’ll only date guys who’ve had a lot of experience in the sack:

  1. They’re less likely to be using me for sex. In my experience, a guy who doesn’t get laid often will tend to rush into a relationship with the first girl he sleeps with to make sure he’s got her tied down even if he doesn’t like her that much. So if you think about it, the main reason he’s staying with her is for consistent sex, whereas a guy who gets sex easily wouldn’t be coming from that place. There’s less of a risk of getting used when I go for the experienced guys.
  2. They’re usually more mature in relationships. Guys who’ve had a lot of sexual experience are usually also more experienced with relationships and how to make them work. It also doesn’t hurt that they’re often more mature in age as well, which always helps. They’ve been with A LOT of people—some long-term, some short-term—and from those experiences have gained a certain knowledge in how to deal with problems in relationships when they come up.
  3. They’re more confident in themselves. Obviously a guy who’s slept with a lot of girls must be confident, right? When I’m dating someone, I don’t want to have to validate them constantly and I find guys who have a low level of sexual experience will rely on me too much to boost their self-esteem. It’s almost as if I’m the only valuable thing in their life. In my opinion, that’s not what being in a relationship is about.
  4. They want me rather than need me. Guys who’ve been with a lot of girls aren’t choosing me because I’m the only one who would sleep with them, they’re choosing me because they actually think I’m cool and want to date me. They could have almost any girl they want but they chose ME and that makes for a relationship that’s worthwhile.
  5. They’re good in bed. This is kind of an obvious one but yes, they’re always really good in bed. I like it when a guy is passionate about sex and open to trying new things and I can always find those traits in a guy who’s sexually experienced. They’ve shed any insecurity around being naked with someone long ago and are fully present during sex, which makes for a way better experience for the both of us.
  6. They’re more open to the possibility of something long-term. I find guys who’ve had a lot of sex are more excited about trying a long-term relationship than guys who haven’t. Think about it—a guy who doesn’t get girls easily will be afraid of missing out on all the women he could be sleeping with (even though the chance of him getting even one is pretty slim). A guy who’s slept with a ton of women will not have that same feeling of missing out because he’s already lived that life (and found out that it’s less fulfilling than a long-term partnership).
  7. They get into relationships for the right reasons. I can trust that a guy who’s had a lot of sexual partners is choosing to be with me because he sincerely feels inspired to, not because he’s afraid he’s never going to have sex again.
  8. They’re never clingy. Guys who’ve had a lot of sex tend to be okay if I’m not ALWAYS with them, whereas guys who live with regular dry spells will be more likely to smother. Not that that’s always a bad thing, but I can’t be solely responsible for someone’s happiness. Relationships need to be balanced and I find the guys who have less sexual experience usually need me more than I need them.
  9. They don’t get paranoid if I talk to another guy. No one likes a jealous boyfriend. Guys who haven’t had a lot of sexual partners are afraid that if I leave them, they’ll have a hard time finding another girlfriend. They assume I’ll leave them for every guy I talk to on the street and it sucks to have to constantly prove your loyalty to your own boyfriend.
  10. They’re less likely to cheat. You might assume that guys who’ve been around the block a lot would be more likely to cheat, but I’ve discovered that that’s not the case. I actually find that the guys who are less experienced get this ego boost once they’re getting regular sex and start thinking, “Hey, now that I have one girl, why not go for another?” They feel more confident talking to girls and end up using me as a gateway to getting with more girls.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.